Recognizing "your own"?

Boundperil · May 27, 2010

No matter how much you and I think about stuff, it is still taboo in a lot of the world. Many people will not admit, even if they think they are safe.

SubAnna · May 27, 2010

Sometims I think that people make jokes that are sometimes quite serious.. Because I mean, if people dont follow you, you can always back out and be like "wtv, it was a joke"...

Although, I know of no BDSM jokes, Im pretty damn sure there must be some..

BDSM is a taboo, but still, I think many people are a little curious/intrigued?

Boundperil · May 27, 2010

People see the extreme, not the norm of the culture, so I can see the fear of bringing it up and mixed venues.

The times I have had good talks, it was very eye opening to folks.

SubAnna · May 27, 2010

Yes.. I wouldn't bring it up most places actually.. But maybe that is because im still new at all this? Generally a lot of people just dont talk about sex.. And if that is a taboo, then ofc so is BDSM.

Nice if you can change people's perceptions I guess, there must be quite a bit of prejudice surrounding it..

Boundperil · May 28, 2010

It would be nice to change peoples minds, open them up more. I guess I just don't have that kind of time LOL I've introduced a lot of people over the years, slowly, some have taken to it, some have not.

Like stated, people have a different view of things then what is reality, and that probably has a lot to do with videos and being with someone who has no idea what they are doing, but claims they do.

sebastian · May 28, 2010

Bound: the media tends to really distort d/s play. Male doms are usually serial killers, male subs are usually pathetic sex addicts. Female doms are usually man-haters or secret Nazis, female subs are usually victims of male doms or emotionally ill. There is no sense that doms enjoy meeting the needs of subs and accept limits to play, and a sub's voluntary submission is usually couched in terms of being somehow broken. In essence, the media depicts the surface level of d/s play and never attempts to delve more deeply to the reality. To some extent it's understandable; there is a pretty big contradiction between the surface of d/s play and the deeper reality, but it's unfortunate that positive depictions of d/s play are pretty rare. There was an episode of House that featured a d/s couple. The episode opens with him apparently breaking in and trying to rape her, only to reveal when he suffers a seizure that she's his wife. I thought, "wow, an honest look at how d/s actually works!" and the couple did explain that they liked playing this way. Unfortunately, it turns out that the wife is actually poisoning her husband, so the ending invalidates the idea that d/s play can be positive and loving.

sebastian · May 28, 2010

I finally realized how to describe submissive eyes. They remind me of a sad puppy's eyes: longing for attention and affection, sort of weak and timid and hungry and hopeful all at once. I've seen a half-dozen sub guys with these eyes.

Ruelee · May 28, 2010

I don't think I give much away when people look at me, I've seen perhaps one, maybe two people here that might look it, but without asking, there's no certain way.
The only way I give away my submissive side is in how I talk, and then only online, since in person I'm rather introverted, and prefer to listen rather than talk.

SubAnna · May 28, 2010

sebastian said:
Female doms are usually man-haters or secret Nazis.

Secret Nazis, lol

.. I have never heard that before

Boundperil · May 29, 2010

sebastian said:
Bound: the media tends to really distort d/s play. Male doms are usually serial killers, male subs are usually pathetic sex addicts. Female doms are usually man-haters or secret Nazis, female subs are usually victims of male doms or emotionally ill. There is no sense that doms enjoy meeting the needs of subs and accept limits to play, and a sub's voluntary submission is usually couched in terms of being somehow broken. In essence, the media depicts the surface level of d/s play and never attempts to delve more deeply to the reality. To some extent it's understandable; there is a pretty big contradiction between the surface of d/s play and the deeper reality, but it's unfortunate that positive depictions of d/s play are pretty rare. There was an episode of House that featured a d/s couple. The episode opens with him apparently breaking in and trying to rape her, only to reveal when he suffers a seizure that she's his wife. I thought, "wow, an honest look at how d/s actually works!" and the couple did explain that they liked playing this way. Unfortunately, it turns out that the wife is actually poisoning her husband, so the ending invalidates the idea that d/s play can be positive and loving.

Well said. The media has a tendency to do that with a lot of things......

Recognizing "your own"?

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