Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by maso_missive, Apr 25, 2010.
I haven't yet had the chance to act this scene out, but I have thought a bit as to how it would work so the sub could still have the fear factor in the experience.
"how could this scene possibly work when you already know that it's not real and that you are actually very close to the person"
In reality, rape is a very devastating thing to the victim. It is comforting to have the knowledge in the back of the sub's mind that the 'rape' is not real.
I think to play out this scene you would have to play a lot with the senses. First, of course, you would talk with your partner about the fantasy. Find out what each other's turn ons and turn offs are, what you each expect from the scene. After it is settled and you both know what it is that the other is wanting, you tell her (or him) that you plan to fulfill the fantasy, but that there will be no warning as to when it happens and just leave it at that for a while. Give them time to let the thoughts slip away, so that they are not expecting it when it does come.
If you live together, you need to be away from the home before you begin the scene. Maybe you'll say you've been called in to work, or you're having a night out with friends. Choose something that would be believeable in your situation. If you are not living together, that just makes this part easier. To play on her senses, you will need to smell different. If she is accustomed to your scent, she will find it comforting rather than bringing out the fear aspect. Shower with different shampoo and soap and wear a different cologne. If you're hairy, maybe shave or trim some of your body hair, give her a different feel. Wear clothes that have an unfamiliar feel or that are not washed with your normal detergent. Basically, make yourself smell and feel like a stranger. When you are ready, sneak in the house (night would probably be best), be ready with a blindfold so that she doesn't have a chance to see you. Scruff your voice up a bit, it would probably help a bit with the scene. And the procede to play it out as you had discussed.
Her mind will be overrun with the sensory aspect. You'll feel and smell like a stranger, and that should be foremost in her mind. But the knowledge that you have planned this will be tucked away in the back of her mind. Just far enough so that she can get into the fantasy, but not panic in the way a victim would. If you sense that she is becoming too frightened and truly starting to panic, say something slightly comforting to her that only the two of you would know. Or, of course, ask her if she would like to use her safe word, she'll know then that she is not in any real danger. Most likely though, it won't get to that point.
Now, if this is a fantasy of yours and your partner has suffered any sort of sexual abuse or assult, this may not be for her. Tread lightly and respect her thoughts and feelings on the matter.
Hope this helps a bit and have fun!
My master and I have tried this, but the past few times we've been physically together sex has been really rushed because we havent seen each other and blah blah blah we can never keep the scene together cuz we're both so eager
Anyways. We've talked really carefully about where and how we would do this. Stalking in public is risky and we would have to make it look as normal as possible. Instead we're going to start out with something easier. I invite him over as a "friend", he confesses his feelings, I reject him, he cant take no for an answer. This can obviously he switched up. A co-worker who's always creeping on you, someone you've let in because they're selling something and later find out has been stalking you. There' so much room for variation.
We think its going to involve a lot of roughness and fighting and verbal abuse and pleading. Obviously this is 100% fantasy so it shouldnt take a real mental toll on you. Sometimes my master and I have scuffled a bit with each other, almost like wrestling, and even that get my blood pumping and my adrenaline up.
Since all of this is pretend, I think how effective the scene will be depends on how willing you are to stay in character and get involved with the scene. Buy some dirt cheap clothes (I'm talking $2 shirts and cheap nylons and all that), then your master ("attacker" hehehe) can either rip them off or cut them up after he's tied you up, if he ties you up at all. Dont be afraid to really get into it, I know my master would personally be twice as excited if I started to cry or tremble.
The safe word is always relevant. In fact the safe word in critical, considering the amount of "no"s and "dont"s you'll be saying
If you're going to surprise her, perhaps you might arrange a code phrase that _you_ will use at the start so she knows its you and not an actual rapist. It might be something like "bitch, I've been watching you for some time now" or "don't worry, this won't hurt _too_ much"--something that will fit the scene but is specific enough that a real attack is unlikely to use it.
And Slutty is right. If she has any experience of having been raped or molested, tread very carefully. I remember reading a while ago of a woman who had been spanked with a hair brush as a child. As an adult, she was a capable of receiving intense pain, but was absolutely terrified of her hair brush and couldn't take even very light strokes with it. Eventually, she and her partner used sm play to help her process this fear, very gradually working up to spanking her with it. She said it was an extremely intense and draining experience for her but ultimately healing. So a rape scene is not absolutely out with such a partner, but would need to be handled very carefully with a ton of discussion and planning.
Excellent suggestion! Guess I got carried away with how I would like the scene done for me, lol!
Excellent answers here, it can be a lot of fun, but as said before, it's so frightening, [in a good way] ... I was the 'bad guy' for ours, and my heart was racing, so you can imagine how our 'victims' must feel. Be ready to make eye contact if wearing a mask/hood, if it starts to get too much, whisper something reassuring and, if it gets near the edge, stop.
Depends how good an actor the bad guy is.
If it does happen, so what? Have a good laugh and a cuddle. End of the day, we want to have fun and games, so whatever will be will be.
I knew you were a female, but I was speaking from the guy's view.
I've never felt guilty about this fantasy, never in my whole life
hahaha, yeah we've actually talked about how laughing would ruin everything and we were originally worried about laughing. But its totally fine, I mean we would just start again another time!
We've pretend fought before, which is usually an intense struggle, and we both say things to each other that we know is really going to piss the other person off. As long as both people are committed to making the scene work, then breaking character becomes less and less of a problem.
Yes, rape fantasies are completely normal. Many people who don't see themselves as kinksters have them. I have moments of guilt over fantasizing; not exactly guilt so much as concern for what these fantasies might say about me. But I'm pretty clear that I would never do such a thing to an unconsenting subject, so I find the feelings fairly easy to stare down.
I'm curious. We've mostly heard from sub who want to play this out. What about other doms? MoP, how did you feel as you were playing the rapist?
If only my master would post in this forum instead of just lurking all the time!!
I have been there, in a different scenarios, but maybe not the way you see it. If you're talking about a full snatch, drag-away screaming and kicking, and clothes ripping - no, but I'll comment for what it's worth.
What seems to make the fantasy work has more to do with mindset than actual acting. One of the first scenes I participated in was a rape scene. Funny thing though.... I didn't know about it till we were well into it. I know it worked for her. I was a tool.
That's just it.... She was there (in her mind) way before I know what was going on (early college years). When she would push me away and say no, I had to stop. Once she convinced me to keep going we were fine, but I still didn't quite get the whole picture till we were done.
What I'm trying to say is that the most critical part of any scene is to believe that you are there.
The more common scenes are date rape, or prison rape. In a prison scene she knows she is confined with me and struggles as I tie her up and take her clothes off, or take the clothes and then tie, or force her to disrobe then tie, well, whatever. Then, I get to have my way with her while she struggles to stop me and to escape. I've even voiced several roles of different people abusing her until the boss comes. (yes, I'm the boss too) This worked too.
In a date rape scene we're already inside but she doesn't know me very well. Just well enough to come home with me for one last drink. Then she turns me on to much and she has to complete the act (but again, at some point I tie her up then too). Usually starts with something like "I've got to have you, I'm sorry, it won't take long, Just let me.....for a little while" then when I have her tied I can take my time with her.
We trust each other very much and I've learned to read her almost perfectly, so the scenes play out very well for us.
With someone new, I wouldn't even try it unless I knew everything I needed to know, especially about her past. I've been with two women who had been molested or raped and that line goes no where. I don't even remember tying them up. Just brings up to much hurt inside. But for those that like it, we try it.
The Dominant one just has to have the imagination to say the right things in the right tone to make her believe that it's happening against her will..... Which is what power exchange is all about.
It's hard to discuss this even among those like me, because I don't like that some dominants actually seem to like real forced rape videos. I see what I do with a partner very differently than that, but I guess it makes me feel like I might be type-cast.
Anyway, communication and trust seem to be the most important elements in any scene, including this one.
Might be best to have a drink, relax in the dark and really talk about this fantasy. Really talk it through. The more you describe, the more he can adapt the persona of the person in the scene you imagine. Once he has the same image in his head as you do of exactly who he is and what he likes to do to you, and what he says do you while he's doing it..... the closer he will be to that person.
No drain on him if he is into it for both of you. I don't really have a point of reference (regarding all Doms) but I can't get any fulfillment out of a scene where my sub is not truly enjoying herself. All the things I do to my sub are to bring out the raw sexuality that I like to feed on. So no, no drain at all. We both feel great after a good scene like that, or just about any other.
I have no idea how much you guys have matured in this lifestyle but I've got a feeling that if you get into it with the right frame of mind, it will be immensely enjoyable and fulfilling, and it will be just another one of your favorites.
Hope this helps.
P.S. Took me a while to write this. I'd like to hear from MoP also on this.
I like the stalker thing too.
Gonna try it. When it happens I'll let yo know how it went
Oh, it was just awful. Terrible..... bad people, getting in my head.
You know what though? It wasn't my fault, you see, I got attacked too. It all
went downhill from there.
I caught a burglar, but even though he was quite small in stature, he was quick, and threatened me with a knife, tied me to the bed, and after some verbal abuse, he sexually molested me, leaving me questioning my sexuality, and for OLP to find when she came in. Embarrassing.
Of course, a few weeks later, I had to go and see a psychologist, as this was on my mind all the time, I was beginning to get feelings for this little burglar, a guy, who, even though had a knife, made me feel so good. So confused.
The psychologist was a very smart lady about 26-27 with dark hair and glasses, this made me feel better straight away, and she was dressed in a smart skirt and was very professional to behold. After a few questions and after I told the tale of the burglar, I felt so horny, and 'came on' to this woman a bit, but she would have none of it, the bitch.
So I took what I wanted, there and then.
I have been the burglar too, and I'm not all bad, I was a doctor
once, and a teacher.
...... Oh. Sorry, they were bad'uns too.
MoP, wow, very interesting scene there. Pretty hot.
Something quite similar to the back story to that scene actually happened to the sub who get me into domming. He was tricked into bondage by a dom who proceeded to virtually rape him for several days, and by the end of it he was hooked on that sort of treatment.
Maso, the way my ex-boy described it to me, he hooked up with this guy on a Fri night and agreed to go back to his place. Once there, the guy persuaded him to try a little bondage, and then having gotten him tied up, kept him the whole weekend. My ex-boy thought of himself as a top, but the other guy forced him into very degrading anal sex repeatedly. He didn't want it at first, but by the end of the weekend, he was craving it so much that he remained in a relationship with the guy for more than a year. So it was essentially rape, because at the start he was not consenting to what was happening, but by the end of the weekend, he was willing. When he told me this, I said "so he raped you?" and he paused for a bit, clearly never having thought of it in those terms, and then said "Virtually. But by the end I wanted it badly."
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