random curious questions

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Master'slilpet, Sep 21, 2012.

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  1. Master'slilpet

    Master'slilpet New Member

    Hello~

    While me and Master are new to the BDSM world, and i have done reading and so on, more than my Master i admit.. but we are both working at our own pace~

    I noticed that i had a few questions i had trouble answering and finding~

    when a female sub or Mistress is on their period, do they normally take a break?
    or do they pretty much ignore it?

    Master wanted me to learn how to control the muscles the clench inside of you.. i tried finding out stuff and all i could find basically told me to clench the muscle that made you stop peeing when you use the bathroom.. is that correct? and is there anything else i can do?

    He also wanted me to learn about more things i could do while pleasuring him.. only problem is im not much of a deepthroater and He isn't fond of me touching His balls.. and unfortunately that's about all i find when i look up stuff..
     
  2. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Regarding periods, it depends on the couple, and that's why you've not found much information. If a Mistress (or a Master with his girl) enjoys sex on her period, sex happens, if they don't like it, it doesn't, and whether or not other D/s chores happen is very dependent on the situation.

    Regarding the muscle-clenching, that's about the best I could come to explaining it too, although it's a bit more than that- it's just hard to explain how to move a muscle. Try searching 'kegels' and looking for ways to do them, and if you want to know if it's working, have him slip a finger in you. You'll probably get better at it with time (assuming you aren't right away).

    There are all kinds of ways to pleasure him. Does he like his nipples being touched? Inner thighs? What about watching you touch yourself, maybe while sucking him off (not deep throating) or jerking him off? What about clothes, positions, and motions (eg different kinds of riding and thrusting) he would like? Does he like being ridden? You don't have to answer all these here, but answer them for yourself and take them wherever would help.
     
  3. Moonlight

    Moonlight Member

    We did not do much when I was on mine, but that was more for cramping. It just plain hurt and was no fun at all. But once the worst of it passed yes we played. We get to play anytime we want for now since I am pregnant, but oh once the baby's born it will make up for lost time.

    Yes kegals. Stopping your urine stream is exercising those muscles.

    Really what you like and do not like is completely up to you. No one can tell you what is ok for you but you. My husband and myself play in our way. Neither of us are into heavy pain, but he assures me he has hit me pretty hard and I swear it did not hurt, But other times like when he is walking by and smacks my ass he barely tapes me and I it hurts. I give him my owe that hurt look. :p

    We are mostly in the bedroom but being married for so long we do some more often, but it is not a full time you are my slave type either. Like I said there is no wrong way unless one of you no longer consents.
     
  4. Roland

    Roland Member

    My wife uses these and loves them for Kegels:

    http://www.babeland.com/Je-Joue-Ami/d/3002

    I know it sounds cliche but give Redbook Magazine a try. Another fave for my wife. Cosmopolitan is catered to younger women but you may find some good info in there, too. Subscriptions are cheap.
     
  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    To keep my cock happy, the key is variety. My cock gets slightly bored/numb when it just gets the same motion over and over. So try lots of different ways to stimulate the cock. You can lick it, both in one spot or with long straight licks along the shaft. I really like it when a guy runs his lips along the shaft (like sucking the side of a popsicle), and you can throw tongue in there as well. If you don't like deep throating, there's the classic bob-and-suck method. And don't just go straight up and down--try putting in a twist at the end, as you get up to the head. Or you can put just the head in your mouth and focus on that. If the ridge of his head is pronounced, try licking the zone right underneath it. Try tonguing the piss-slit. A little gentle biting _might_ be pleasurable. And try to generate a lot of spit--it makes everything flow better. Also, periodically look up and make eye contact with him--that makes oral seem a lot more intimate. But don't just do one trick, unless he tells you to keep doing something. Do the bob-and-suck for a minute, and then throw in a twist. Then focus on the head. Then move to just licking the head. Then the shaft. You get the idea. And I haven't even mentioned stroking his cock as you suck it.

    But the cock is not the only thing to play with down there. If he doesn't like having his balls sucked on, try gently stroking them. Some guys like having them gently squeezed or tugged on--if he responds to this, gradually get rougher, but be prepared to back off. Some guys like having their balls patted or flicked with a finger, but that probably won't work with him. And if the balls are off-limits, there's always the space around his balls--the crease between his balls and his thighs, and the skin of his thighs, which you can lick, nibble, or scratch with your nails (lightly). Try stroking the zone between his balls and his ass using your finger and if he responds, lick it. If his ass is clean, try rimming him. If you have short, trimmed nails, massage his anus with your finger and gently insert your finger--some guys will freak out because that seems 'gay', but some guys absolutely love it.

    However, it's not entirely your job to figure out what pleasures him. It's also his job to tell you what pleasures him. At the moment, he's being a lazy dom, expecting you to do the work of finding things he likes. But doms don't get to be lazy. Being in charge means _he's in charge_--he has to be actively looking for ways to control and train you.So explain to him that he has to be more clear about what he likes, about what he thinks he might like, and how he wants you to act. If he wants you to do a better job pleasing him orally, he has to figure out what might please him and give you direction.
     
    Last edited: Sep 21, 2012
  6. MrWolfgang

    MrWolfgang Member

    Every couple is gonna be different obviously but, me and my wife continue on during that time (if the mood strikes) except in different ways. We dont do any vaginal penetration but, I will tape a vibrator to her clitoris and play around a bit with the flogger or crop. Anal sex or training is always something to think about. The no stirngs attached blowjob is always a WIN as well. Weve had some really good scenes during those times. I would just say use good judgement. If you feel like shit, dont play. If you think your good to go, just go and have some fun. It will give you a chance to try some different things. Shake up the routine a bit.
     
  7. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Cosmo is a terrible idea, just to chime in. Yes, it is all about how to please your man. However, all the information is obvious (and already outlined in this thread) or wrong. They advised public handjobs in a recent issue (in a restaurant, no less), jerking down hard on his balls, indian burning his penis, etc. So yeah, I'd avoid it.

    The best thing you can do is keep experimenting. Use different sensations, ask what he likes, ask him to put your mouth/hand/whatever anywhere he wants, try everything you want until you both know what he likes (I imagine he doesn't know either, since you asked us for suggestions).
     
  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Cosmo sex articles are basically written by the interns, many of whom know nothing about the subjects they're writing about. They routinely suggest stupid shit like eating donut off the guy's cock. Ignore them.
     
  9. Roland

    Roland Member

    LOL...ok strike Cosmo from the record unless you want to learn what not to do. My wife does like Redbook, though and it has given her some good ideas.
     
  10. Her-sir

    Her-sir New Member

    We continue to play during hers. I personally like it when she has it, Well like it might be a stretch. There I times I rush and cut a plan short and just get to fucking her. During her period is a good time for me to slow it down and work on my skills because I have all the time in the world if I'm not focusing on throwing it in.
     
  11. Master'slilpet

    Master'slilpet New Member

    Thank you all!~ ^-^

    Its not that my Master is being lazy... Its that He likes me to surprise Him with things i learn~
    to Him it shows i want to learn/train more and please Him~

    Master and i are still virgins, and plan to keep it that way till marriage.. so riding him and things like that are not an option..

    Hes not fond of me touching His balls at all.. occasionally He will ask me to lick them, but even that's rare... as far as other parts of the body, He doesn't mind it but doesn't find it too exciting(unless its his ear or neck XD)

    i appreciate your guys suggestions and tips~ Thank you so much~ ^-^
     
  12. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Umm, if you're having oral sex, you're not virgins. It's called oral _sex_ after all.
     
  13. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    It's a matter of opinion, Sebby. Some people consider anal virginal, and we might as well not go into all the different reasons for those. The main reason to remember that it's sex is so people remember that STDs still happen. But I want to avoid the whole 'is what a virgin' argument, so I'll shut up.

    MLP, we can help you a bit more if you tell us more. But to be clear- keeping you on your toes and making you learn things is okay, but he does have to be clear with you and say what he likes sometimes. Not all the work should be yours.
     
  14. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Smallest: The question of how to define sex only got confused when Christian fundamentalists began pushing abstinence-only sex ed programs. These programs left a whole generation of kids woefully misunderstanding the fundamentals of sex, thinking that condoms don't work, that most forms of sex aren't sex, and, as you noted, that most forms of sex can't convey STDs. It's also led to an explosion of anal sex, as kids assume that getting fucked in the ass somehow doesn't count as sex, and to a sharp rise in teen pregnancy rates. So it's really not about a difference of opinion as it is about a lack of information.
     
  15. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Yes, but a lot of the original obsession with virgins was to make sure if a lady got pregnant, it was actually the heir to the family and so on, which is one reason some consider only vaginal sex sex. I think it's a pretty murky area to go into though, and if the OP is religious or otherwise have values that say oral is okay, vaginal isn't, I don't want to try to convince them otherwise.
     
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