Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by SubMom42, Dec 7, 2010.
SubMom, I don't generally make absolute statements about bdsm stuff, because I believe that informed consent makes most forms of play acceptable, but don't do it. It's pretty much a guaranteed disaster.
You don't say what you feel about it, but it's pretty obvious to me that you don't like the idea. Why else would you have suddenly sought out a forum to ask advice from, after years of happy and satisfying exploration? Subs always have the right to withdraw consent from any form of play that makes them uncomfortable or unhappy. You want to be an obedient sub, and you want to please your master, but your master is asking you to do something you don't like. So you need to have an honest and open conversation with him about it and explain that you don't want to do it.
If you go through with this against your will, I can think of a number of likely consequences. You will probably begin to resent your master and may start to distrust him. If he won't stop at incest, where else will he take you? Bestiality? Your relationship with your son will certainly be affected, and may be completely destroyed. Your son's emotional development will certainly be affected as well, and it may possibly become a serious psychological issue for him in years to come. Finally, most people consider incest socially unacceptable, so what happens if someone finds out that you've done this? And if you regret it, who can you talk to about it? Keep in mind that you've apparently put your full real name to your post, someone innocently googling your name may see this post.
Your son shows some interest in being kinky, but being kinky with his mother isn't the way to introduce him to kink. Help him find a sub girl (or boy) his own age to explore responsibly with. Keep in mind that as his mother, you have a duty to help him learn how to behave romantically and sexually. In this case, the thing to do is model proper sub/dom interaction for him by showing him how a sub can refuse an order that is not in the sub's interest and insist that the dom respect that refusal.
re: About My Son & My Master
My master and I began playing our relationship of master and submissive at age 18 so please believe me when I say 18 is really not as hard as you think. No offense, especially if your son is good looking. It wouldn't be easy if he was afraid of his kinks and desires, but clearly he isn't.
Its difficult for me to give good advice here because, whew, this is some pretty heavy stuff! I can understand your master guiding him, but I believe that BDSM is really something a person has to learn by themselves. You aren't his partner, you're his mother. If he really wants to be a Dom then he should find his own submissive. You and your master will always be there to support and guide him, but he doesn't really belong in YOUR relationship with your master.
Hopefully that makes sense, I'm not saying what your master wants to do is necessarily wrong, but your son will be learn and grow much more if he learns on his own with the two of you as simply guiding forces and available for questions/support.
If BDSM really is a lifestyle (which I believe it is as well) then he shouldn't be detaching himself from you, he should attaching himself to a real partner. Exploring sexuality and become a sexual person is part of becoming an independent person. Independent from one's parents and guardians, a step towards adult-hood that can only be made on one's own.
What you're describing to do with your son is, again no offense, pretty much incest. Please be extremely conscious of the psychological effects that could result. You're not able to tell how watching your sessions or joining them will effect him, so maybe you should avoid things that could possibly have psychological damage.
I would advise you to heavily read up and inform yourself on this subject before allowing him to watch or join any more sessions
Submom, I think having your master mentor your son is a reasonable idea. New doms can definitely benefit from having a mentor--I grew enormously thanks to my mentor. And you as a sub can help mentor him as well. But there's a difference between mentoring him and playing with him. You are his mother; you are inherently an authority figure in his life. He needs you to provide advice, guidance and sometimes correction when he screws up. You can't do those things as a sub.
Take the issue of bdsm out of the equation for a moment. Your son is 18 and he wants to find a girlfriend. In a situation like that, you and your partner would offer him advice, help him learn the right manners and so on, and you might tell him that you approve of his girlfriend or warn him that you think his girlfriend isn't the best choice. You wouldn't become his girlfriend until he finds one. It's the same in bdsm. You can take him to a munch, introduce him to people who might know good subs, and help him and his sub learn how to play well together.
It might also be extremely disturbing to him to watch your master beat and torture you.
If your master wants to mentor your son, find a sub to work with you and your son. That sub doesn't have to be your son's girlfriend, but it really shouldn't be you. I just think you're asking for all sorts of problems both right away and down the road.
Welcome submom -
While I think that the advice you already received is probably what I would also give you, there are a couple of things I'd like to be clarified.
We in this group have many different styles of relationships, and I would assume that when you say your master uses you, you mean sexually... but that's my assumption. So it's also an assumption that when you talk about your son using you, it's also sexual. I'd like to hear from you, just in case this is not the right assumption.
I'm with Seb on the thought that while your master could use you.... emotionally, your son would be much better off getting guidance and advice from you and your master, instead of dominating his own mother.
Please remember that once a bell rings, it can't be un-rung, and that with all the twists and turns this could involve.. who's to say what's gonna happen, and what effect it will have.
I try not to be judgmental when reading or answering, but if this does involve sexual domination as well as verbal/physical, and pain/torture play, or even humiliation, you are starting down a slippery slope that could change your relationships permanently.
Aside from all that, I don't see anything wrong with your son finding his own kinky girlfriend, or at least one who wants to experiment, and then you both can guide and advise him or them on their growth as a couple.
I guess I've also assumed that he is a normal halfway decent and mature 18 year old who can get a girlfriend.
You might want to ask your master (I'm gonna assume he has children... I hope), If this were his daughter, would he feel the same? Remember, your son is not his flesh and blood.
There's an old saying that seems to stick in my mind right now
"If there's any doubt... there's no doubt at all". (De Niro, Ronin)
Give this a lot of thought, please, and if there a nagging feeling in your gut.... listen to it.
Hope this helps
Re; My Son & My Master
I'm just saying, your parents don't really belong in your sex life.
I dont want to be disrespectful, but its a bad idea to have your son watch your sessions. If he's as mature and smart and handsome as you say he is, then why cant he find his own girlfriend? Your son is 18, a year ago having this discussion would constitute as rape. Please think about that. Is your son a consenting adult? He cant even drink yet. In some states he can't smoke!
Maybe he'll be a better master (???) or maybe he'll have intense psychological damage from having a sexual relationship with his mother. If he had a sister, would approve of a master/sub relationship between them too?
Why do you even want him to watch? You dont have to tell us, but very clearly come a solid conclusion on why you want your son involved in YOUR relationship. Is it really because you want to mentor him and make him a better master? There are much, much healthier ways than the one you are currently considering
Its kind of hot topic considering the subject matter is kind of illegal in the US
Submom, What L8 says about not being able to unring the bell is a very important point. Are the possible rewards of this arrangement worth the possible risks? What's the worst case scenario here? You have sex with your son and one or the other of you feels badly enough about it afterwards that the two of you are never able to have a normal relationship again. Are you willing to risk losing your relationship with your son?
Another minor point to keep in mind: Incest between adult parent/child combos is illegal almost everywhere in the US (I think Rhode Island might be an exception). So if you do go through with it, you're going to have to keep it under wraps.
Wikipedia (yes, my source for all quick knowledge hehe) says rhode island is the only one that doesn't have a criminal statute but all 50 states have "some form of codified incest prohibition"
Yes. He's legally an adult. But in most states, incest between adult child and parent is still illegal.
I'm curious, Submom. Your profile says you're 27. The math here doesn't seem to work.
Yeah I was wondering about that too
Also, I cant see submom's posts!! =(
L8night cant see them either!
I think she deleted to posts because she's worried that someone will see her posts and link them to her. Given the nature of the thread, it's not an entirely unreasonable choice.
oh! I just wanted to know what her response was
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