Sub4Life
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
I know Bluelagoon. I was just clarifying, because the way I explained it, it could have been taken a few different ways. 
Thanks though
Thanks thoughKeep2share Premium PRO Account
Punishments for things you didn't do?
- Thread starter Sub4Life
- Start date
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
GreyMac
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
sub4life, when I made mention of the impossible task I was referring to what greymac said in his first post in this thread...
I felt that!
Let's say you're tied up in a simple rope tie, nothing too complex and I say, "I'm leaving the room for a few minutes. If you've escaped from the ropes completely by the time I get back, you get a very special treat. If not you get a spanking."
To me that's part of the play, the spanking would not be severe enough to be considered punishment.
That's the kind of difficult task I had in mind. Is that 'unfair'?
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Sub4Life
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
GreyMac...theres nothing unfair about that, but if you were to give your sub an impossible task and then gave them a real punishment, not one for play, then it would be unfair.
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
bluelagoon1988
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
I agree with sub4life totally on that one
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
GreyMac
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
I completely understand what both of you are saying and agree with you 100%.
I don't play mean. I have to care deeply for a sub or I wouldn't be involved with them. If you care deeply for someone, you don't want to scar them.
Punishment and discipline are different. Discipline is a part of play and, most importantly, training. Learning self-control and proper submissive behavior is an on-going process that involves making a sub aware of the things required of them while meeting their needs too.
Punishment should be reserved for true bad behavior on the part of the sub such as willful disobediance, or failure to comply with clear and reasonable directives, orders and instructions.
Discipline should be, at the end of the day, enjoyable and a positive experience for both parties. It will not always be easy or comfortable for the sub whiile being disciplined, but it should have a teaching component that contains a lesson for the sub. Being a decent Master is so much more than bossing someone around or hitting them when you feel like it. You must also be a mentor and tutor; a teacher and yes, a disciplinarian.
Punishments should be such that the sub will actively avoid making that mistake again.
All Doms are different. But everyone needs rules. Without rules of engagement it's just domestic violence.
Just my opinion.....
I don't play mean. I have to care deeply for a sub or I wouldn't be involved with them. If you care deeply for someone, you don't want to scar them.
Punishment and discipline are different. Discipline is a part of play and, most importantly, training. Learning self-control and proper submissive behavior is an on-going process that involves making a sub aware of the things required of them while meeting their needs too.
Punishment should be reserved for true bad behavior on the part of the sub such as willful disobediance, or failure to comply with clear and reasonable directives, orders and instructions.
Discipline should be, at the end of the day, enjoyable and a positive experience for both parties. It will not always be easy or comfortable for the sub whiile being disciplined, but it should have a teaching component that contains a lesson for the sub. Being a decent Master is so much more than bossing someone around or hitting them when you feel like it. You must also be a mentor and tutor; a teacher and yes, a disciplinarian.
Punishments should be such that the sub will actively avoid making that mistake again.
All Doms are different. But everyone needs rules. Without rules of engagement it's just domestic violence.
Just my opinion.....
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
subspace
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Sub4Life said:
How is your Master punishing you for something that you have no control over any different than a Master punishing you for an impossible task?
If you don't mind your Master blowing off steam by using you in this manner then enjoy but if you think it is unfair to be punished for impossibles then this is a discussion you need to have with him before it becomes a bigger issue.
When you first posted this thread my initial thought was that your Master may be finding some fault with you that deserves punishment for things that seem out of your control but maybe are not. For example: Could you have made it easier for him to find his tie? Is that something that is expected of you? I realize that you can do nothing of his thinning hair but did something happen between the two of you on this topic to warrant a punishment? Please don't think that am picking on you! I am just breaking this question apart to maybe help it make sense.
At the end of the day all that matters is that you and your Master are on the same page and are enjoying you relationship. It doesn't have to make sense to anyone but the two of you!
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Sub4Life
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Subspace- The difference is that it's not a real punishment my Master gives me. He punishes me the way he does when we are just playing. But what makes it a cross is the I am not relaxed, or ready for it. He just comes home and will tell me to bend over and take off my pants and underwear and I am stiff and surprised, so it hurts more. Does that make sense?
And we have talked about it, because the first time he did it I was really upset, and confused, and whenever either of us (normally me lol) starts to feel that way we will sit down and have a talk.
It's one of those things that doesnt bother me, and I dont mind it, but dont neccesarily love it. lol, But he does things for me that he doesnt want to do, but knows I like. So i see it as a normal part of a relationship. (the give and take, not the spanking lol)
I am mad tired right now so if any of that was unclear just tell me! lol
And we have talked about it, because the first time he did it I was really upset, and confused, and whenever either of us (normally me lol) starts to feel that way we will sit down and have a talk.
It's one of those things that doesnt bother me, and I dont mind it, but dont neccesarily love it. lol, But he does things for me that he doesnt want to do, but knows I like. So i see it as a normal part of a relationship. (the give and take, not the spanking lol)
I am mad tired right now so if any of that was unclear just tell me! lol
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
bluelagoon1988
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
That's part of my problem Grey, I can't seem to find a dom that is willing to train me before they get fed up and dismiss me or just stop trying and I ask to be dismissed. I still have not been trained or properly collared. It hurts, everyday and I am having a hard time describing to anybody how awful it feels to be unowned.
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
GreyMac
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Lovely Blue-L,
I am so sympathetic to your problem. There are far too many people out there who think they're Doms simply because they like to be in charge and bully someone around. That's like calling themselves a Teacher because they enjoy sending people to detention. Or call themselves a coach because they like to work people until they drop. There's just so much more to it than that.
The care and training of a sub, especially one new to the lifestyle, is a labor of love and it's a lot of work to do well. Being fair, firm and consistant are far more important than punishing someone. Praise and reward are just as important. Many people start out in D/s with notions of conflict being an important part of it. In reality, a good D/s realtionship is a Pretty low conflict environment. Each should know exactly what is expected of them. Clear expectations and boundaries and mutual respect.
There's nothing easy about it.
but it's a beautiful thing when done right.
I am so sympathetic to your problem. There are far too many people out there who think they're Doms simply because they like to be in charge and bully someone around. That's like calling themselves a Teacher because they enjoy sending people to detention. Or call themselves a coach because they like to work people until they drop. There's just so much more to it than that.
The care and training of a sub, especially one new to the lifestyle, is a labor of love and it's a lot of work to do well. Being fair, firm and consistant are far more important than punishing someone. Praise and reward are just as important. Many people start out in D/s with notions of conflict being an important part of it. In reality, a good D/s realtionship is a Pretty low conflict environment. Each should know exactly what is expected of them. Clear expectations and boundaries and mutual respect.
There's nothing easy about it.
but it's a beautiful thing when done right.
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
Last edited:
subspace
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
You are perfectly clear!
As long as you and your Master are happy and communicating needs/expectations from the relationship then have at it!
Keep2share Premium PRO Account
