Punishments for things you didn't do?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Sub4Life, Oct 16, 2009.

  1. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    I was wondering if any other Dom out there does this. My Master will punish me somtimes for things that happened, but that I had nothing to do with. For example the other day my Master came home and spanked with his hair brush because he said he was upset because his hair was thinning slightly.

    And I was punished again when he couldn't find his tie and had a big meeting. (He punished me when he got back.)

    It's a way for him to blow off some steam and so I dont mind. I like the attention, but I was wondering if anyone had the same experience?
  2. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    My sessions are more S&M than D/s, so in my case being "punished" isn't the issue. Most days you just want a good spanking for no reason.

  3. For me, it actually tends to be the opposite. My master will declare something small a punishable offence, but will generally be kind and let me off, instead focusing on punishing me for more serious things.
  4. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    well i do this when i'm angry XD like your master for me it's norm
  5. GreyMac

    GreyMac Member

    I would usually use something you did do and blow it up out of proportion to adiminister discipline, rather than blame you for things you had nothing to do with. Or I'd even give you a task that's very difficult to impossible. Keeping things personal is important to me. Many masters feel differently, possibly as many differences as there are people, but my take is what works for me.
  6. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    He doesn't do it a lot, and doesn't do it to upset me. The first time He did it I was confused and very upset, and He explained to me that everything was ok and I didnt upset him. (I dont know about others, but in our relationship, there are "punishments" which are enjoyable for me, and then there are punishments, which I am not meant to enjoy, and when he does this its a cross between the two)
  7. GreyMac

    GreyMac Member

    I make a distinction between discipline and punishment, too. And I will sometimes exagerate an offense to enjoy some good discipline, because that's play. Punishment is not play for me and is reserved for actual misbehavior such as willful disobediance, failing to follow basic rules, etc.

    Different people play different games, and some people play the same game with different rules. This seems to still distress you. Is it a problem that you can talk to your master about?

  8. I would go absolutely batty if my dom punished me for something out of my control. Giving me an impossible or near impossible task is the same way. I sometimes like things to be difficult so I can feel really proud when I accomplish them but I guess I am naughty enough and need punishment often enough that I never created the need for unwarranted punishments. I try to do very minor things, to make sure he is paying attention, if I am told I will be punished I expect it to happen and soon, otherwise I will do the same things again because I can and because I need a very rigid structure in most areas. I'm like a small child or a puppy :D
  9. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    GreyMac- It doesn't really bother me anymore. I mean they are not all that bad and he seems to enoy doing it lol. And it doesn't happen alot, I'd say once a month, two or three at the most. What upset me the first time he did it, is that I thought he was upset with me, and I hate it when he is mad at me. The actual punishment itself is not bad.

    Bluelagoon- He never gives me tasks that I can't complete. My Master loves giving out punishment, and so it's more like, he has had a stressful day and wants to do something he enjoys and blow off some steam. (But when he doesn't do this it's just some really rough sex, which I like better lol)
    But I can always say no. (Well our safeword)
    My Master really is very loving though :D

  10. sub4life, when I made mention of the impossible task I was referring to what greymac said in his first post in this thread...:)
  11. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    I know Bluelagoon. I was just clarifying, because the way I explained it, it could have been taken a few different ways. :D Thanks though
  12. GreyMac

    GreyMac Member

    I felt that!

    Let's say you're tied up in a simple rope tie, nothing too complex and I say, "I'm leaving the room for a few minutes. If you've escaped from the ropes completely by the time I get back, you get a very special treat. If not you get a spanking."

    To me that's part of the play, the spanking would not be severe enough to be considered punishment.

    That's the kind of difficult task I had in mind. Is that 'unfair'?
  13. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

    GreyMac...theres nothing unfair about that, but if you were to give your sub an impossible task and then gave them a real punishment, not one for play, then it would be unfair.

  14. I agree with sub4life totally on that one
  15. GreyMac

    GreyMac Member

    I completely understand what both of you are saying and agree with you 100%.

    I don't play mean. I have to care deeply for a sub or I wouldn't be involved with them. If you care deeply for someone, you don't want to scar them.

    Punishment and discipline are different. Discipline is a part of play and, most importantly, training. Learning self-control and proper submissive behavior is an on-going process that involves making a sub aware of the things required of them while meeting their needs too.

    Punishment should be reserved for true bad behavior on the part of the sub such as willful disobediance, or failure to comply with clear and reasonable directives, orders and instructions.

    Discipline should be, at the end of the day, enjoyable and a positive experience for both parties. It will not always be easy or comfortable for the sub whiile being disciplined, but it should have a teaching component that contains a lesson for the sub. Being a decent Master is so much more than bossing someone around or hitting them when you feel like it. You must also be a mentor and tutor; a teacher and yes, a disciplinarian.

    Punishments should be such that the sub will actively avoid making that mistake again.

    All Doms are different. But everyone needs rules. Without rules of engagement it's just domestic violence.

    Just my opinion.....

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