Punishment direly needed

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by MrAero, Mar 27, 2009.

  1. MrAero

    MrAero Member

    As you know, I am fairly new to this and so is my sub. We have had a few snags but nothing major until last night. Because we are long distance, I've been giving her assignments to do every day and yesterday she was not allowed to wear a bra all day. Nipples chaffing, she asked several times to be allowed to wear a bra but these requests were denied. She made it through the whole day with little other problems. Then last night we proceeded to use the webcam while I instructed her to pour hot wax on the back of her hand starting at about 6 in and moving in to about 1 in. She was scared and reluctant, which is understandable, but she did it. Also, all throughout the past three days I've been controlling when she orgasms and not. We ended the need with her asking to cum, but me, having let her cum twice yesterday, denied her. I sent her off to bed, with the command of not sleeping in her bra (she could wear one again today) and to txt me before she fell asleep.

    I woke up this morning to find a txt about an hour after her bedtime telling me that she was so sorry. I asked what was wrong. She told me that she 1)came, 2) wore a bra to bed, and 3) called a close friend of hers who does not understand what we do and believes it to be abuse and told him everything.

    I am ashamed and insulted by this. I, the next time I see her, will beat her but this may not be for a month or more. From the experienced Doms out there, did I make some horrible mistake that is obvious to you but not to me because I'm new? How do you recommend her punishment? To have rebelled against almost everything I told her makes me doubt both my ability and her sincerity. What should I do?
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2009
  2. prettylittlesub

    prettylittlesub New Member

    You should probably have her take her computer into a Starbucks or other public place... (use your webcam, of course.) Think of some punishments in which would humiliate her in public. Of course, you cant go too far, because the public does not want to see this type of behavior, but see through shirts with no bra during a bright saturday or discussing these things out loud to you in a public place might hold u over until you see her.
  3. MrAero

    MrAero Member

    have you done this in the past effectively littlesub? thank you
  4. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Fact: You are coming very close to a visit from local law enforcement.

    Opinion: Do not punish this person. Do not contact this person again. Thank your lucky stars the ignorant friend has not yet reported you for domestic abuse and run RUN away from this relationship.

    Find someone who is...
    A. Sincere in their submission
    B. Smart enough not to talk to people about your private relationship with somebody who can't tell it apart from non-consensual abuse (They still imprison and institutionalize people for S&M in this and many other countries).
  5. prettylittlesub

    prettylittlesub New Member

    ReallyGreen may be right, but to answer your question, yes. This did work effectively. My Mistress had me take my laptop into a Starbucks. On the first day, she had me wear a nearly see-through white v-neck tee with no bra. As she watched through the webcam, she told me to hold the the cup of my iced coffee against my nipples. Then, after my pink protruding nipples were hard and noticable, she ordered me to cut the white tee, from the point of the v down, 4 inches below the bottom of my breasts. I was not openly exposing myself to the point of angering the other people in the shop, but when i turned, my nipples did slip out a bit. My Mistress knew that I would have to take public transportation home, so a few people got a bit of a show. Lastly, she had me walk to the bathroom, take off my panties, then come back and show her.

    By the time I got back to my apartment, the cut in my tee had traveled down further, so my breasts were actually completely exposed. My face burned with humiliation as I struggled to hold my shirt together on the subway. (I was living in New York at the time.)

    The next day, we connected on the webcam again. I was home (it was a sunny Sunday afternoon.) She had me position the webcam towards a window. She had me open the blinds, strip off all of my clothes, and press my breasts against the window for 10 minutes. She yelled at me the entire time. I begged and pleaded. Needless to say, I never misbehaved like I previously had again.
  6. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    If you lived-across from an all boys catholic school at the time you may be destined for sainthood.
  7. Leilani

    Leilani New Member

    I think that, first and foremost, you should talk to her. I'm not exactly experienced with this type of thing, but I think that in any relationship, communication with your partner is key. Perhaps you were too strict for her current standards, and she simply wasn't able to train herself to follow your instructions. Perhaps she didn't follow them on purpose, to elicit punishment. Perhaps you two just don't share beliefs about what the relationship should be. No one can tell you which but her.
  8. I agree with that. You really need to talk about this situation you've got yourselves into.
  9. MrAero

    MrAero Member

    I've since spoken with her a lot about what happened. She told me that she really didn't have a problem with most of the stuff I did, it was just the control over her orgasms. She said that would just take time to get used to. She has since apologized sincerely and has already undergone some of her total punishment. I made her call my room mate and please him any way he asked over the phone, I will spank her the next time I see her, and I made her take paper binder clips and pin her nipples. Because I was able to watch this part on webcam, I know that it was very affective (plus her nipples were tender from not wearing a bra two days in a row). I have forgiven her and moved on, other than the spanking she will receive. She begged for forgiveness and that I not give up on her. Thank you for all of your advice.

    ps. the legal situation is not going to progress any further, the friend of hers doesn't know where I live, because this is a long distance sub, so I'm not worried about things, but thank you.

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