Winter
New Member
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I have been speaking to a Dom for a couple of weeks and have already met him in person a couple of time but tonight (about 15 hours time) we will be playing for the first time and OMG am I nervous!!! I'm not quite used to feeling this way.
It's strange given that I have been a sex worker for 12 years I'm pretty used to hooking up with random guys for intimate activites, and well more often than not it's on total "stranger" terms. But I have never been a sub before, not in the true sense anyway... only ever in a "work" setting were you're never really a sub always in complete control just make believe and pretend.
The Dom I am playing with is aware of all of this and has been really good with answering questions and discussing limitations and the such and it's not like I'm getting that "this is not good gutt feeling" I know that feeling I get it every so often in my work and it's never let me down yet. This is a different feeling. This is more like butterflies or something. LOL It's kinda novel really.
I have all my usual "work type" safety measures in place but it kinda feels a bit weird or wrong to treat it a bit like a booking as much as I know that it's necessary. I think the struggle for me is going to be to not treat the whole thing like a booking! Kinda defeats the purpose of being a sub to actually spend the whole time being in control and pretending...
Sorry for the little rant there really is no question.... I don't think.... Or maybe I could ask - do other peeps get really nervous about playing for the first time?
It's strange given that I have been a sex worker for 12 years I'm pretty used to hooking up with random guys for intimate activites, and well more often than not it's on total "stranger" terms. But I have never been a sub before, not in the true sense anyway... only ever in a "work" setting were you're never really a sub always in complete control just make believe and pretend.
The Dom I am playing with is aware of all of this and has been really good with answering questions and discussing limitations and the such and it's not like I'm getting that "this is not good gutt feeling" I know that feeling I get it every so often in my work and it's never let me down yet. This is a different feeling. This is more like butterflies or something. LOL It's kinda novel really.
I have all my usual "work type" safety measures in place but it kinda feels a bit weird or wrong to treat it a bit like a booking as much as I know that it's necessary. I think the struggle for me is going to be to not treat the whole thing like a booking! Kinda defeats the purpose of being a sub to actually spend the whole time being in control and pretending...
Sorry for the little rant there really is no question.... I don't think.... Or maybe I could ask - do other peeps get really nervous about playing for the first time?
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He knows where I'll be and has his instructions on what to do if things go pear shaped. But here's hoping it will all be as usual in place for no reason at all (things go well)