Playing for thr first time

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Winter, Aug 24, 2012.

  1. Winter

    Winter New Member

    I have been speaking to a Dom for a couple of weeks and have already met him in person a couple of time but tonight (about 15 hours time) we will be playing for the first time and OMG am I nervous!!! I'm not quite used to feeling this way.

    It's strange given that I have been a sex worker for 12 years I'm pretty used to hooking up with random guys for intimate activites, and well more often than not it's on total "stranger" terms. But I have never been a sub before, not in the true sense anyway... only ever in a "work" setting were you're never really a sub always in complete control just make believe and pretend.

    The Dom I am playing with is aware of all of this and has been really good with answering questions and discussing limitations and the such and it's not like I'm getting that "this is not good gutt feeling" I know that feeling I get it every so often in my work and it's never let me down yet. This is a different feeling. This is more like butterflies or something. LOL It's kinda novel really.

    I have all my usual "work type" safety measures in place but it kinda feels a bit weird or wrong to treat it a bit like a booking as much as I know that it's necessary. I think the struggle for me is going to be to not treat the whole thing like a booking! Kinda defeats the purpose of being a sub to actually spend the whole time being in control and pretending...

    Sorry for the little rant there really is no question.... I don't think.... Or maybe I could ask - do other peeps get really nervous about playing for the first time?
     
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  2. Roland

    Roland Member

    Part of the excitement is being nervous for the first time. If it was all so easy and predictable, it wouldn't be fun. You should consider having a friend to check-in with and different times for your own personal protection. Then let the dom know and he should be fine with it. It is a standard safety measure when engaging in these types of scenes.
     
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Safety measures aren't really about you being in control. They're about you being safe enough to allow yourself to give up control. So don't feel bad about using them.

    Roland's right that jitters are common for subs. Good luck! I hope it goes well. Let us know how it went.
     
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  4. Winter

    Winter New Member

    I have my wing man organised. It's standard practice in my world. LOL have the code names and all ready to go so he knows it's me txting him that I'm alive :) He knows where I'll be and has his instructions on what to do if things go pear shaped. But here's hoping it will all be as usual in place for no reason at all (things go well)

    Will certainly check back in and let you all know how it goes. :) Here's hoping i actually enjoy the reality of it and not just the thinking about it!
     
  5. Roland

    Roland Member

    Good Luck, Winter!
     
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  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Let us know how it goes!
     
  7. Winter

    Winter New Member

    Well... That was an experience! I survived so that's always a good start! I enjoyed it! Which is also a big plus! Yay it's not just a fantasy :) although I have to admit that I felt a little let down... It wasn't as awesome as I thought it was going to be. But I think that was more me and my expectations than anything my Dom did or didn't do. I understand that for a first play session especially with some one very little actual sub experience it was more about a little experimentation and the such. I know he went pretty easy on me... So bring on the next one I say :)
     
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  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Great!
     
  9. Roland

    Roland Member

    Glad to hear, Winter. Are you going to play with him again?
     
  10. Winter

    Winter New Member

    I'm not sure at this stage.... I had planned on it, but he has been rather quiet for the last few days so I'm not sure if he is just busy or if I should be taking the lack of communication as no longer interested....
     

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