Partner Into BDSM and I am not HELP!!

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by powerbab, May 3, 2009.

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  1. powerbab

    powerbab New Member

    Hello all!! I have a serious issue. My partner of 3yrs is very much into the slave aspect of bdsm and I am not interested in being her master. I have tried several times to "get" interested and I just can't. It is just not me and besides the fact that it is such a turn off to do some of the things that she wants me to do. She is mainly interested in being treated like a child with lists of tasks to be completed and if they are not then punishments to be administerd. She gets the bdsm urge at least once a month and I try to accomodate but I just feel sick? I seriously do not have a problem with anyone being into this and I do not love her any less for wanting this aspect in her life, it's just starting to become the elephant in the room and I'm not sure how to deal with this? We have discussed her going to someone for a session and I am all about it but until then she still tries to get me involved to some degree or another and I just flat out refuse which creates problems. Please, if anyone has any suggestions on how to handle this, please drop me a line.
    Thank you!!
     
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  2. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    well, my suggestion was to ask you if you would be open to her seeing someone else, but then I finished reading. I would suggest talking to her about it, and possibly ACTIVELY looking for someone with her, so she knows your really ok with it. Maybe even perhaps have her join our little online corner of the interweb here...

    The key in any relationship, and evne moreso when BDSM is involved, is communication, and I can tell since your going to others for advice, and your referring to it as the elefant in the room, communication is an issue somewhere along the line. she probably feels bad because you want her to see someone else, and moreso because she needs to have her needs met and shes considering it, not knowing how serious you are, or if she'd risk losing a 3 year commitment for doing so. think about it. but if you actively understand that her desires are a part of her, and not some phase or temporary affliction that can be cured, and you accept her for her, dispite what you see subconsciously as a flaw, then she will love you more. Help her find someone to fill her needs, or perhaps attend a club with her, and maybe you'll discover you have some fetishes of your own, like watching.... its the most common fetish that people hate to admit/realize they have...
     
  3. Prissy

    Prissy Member

    While I do agree with Sparrow, I have a secondary option if that doesn't work. Maybe ask her to dominate you first, to see it from her side of things. If you can, maybe the idea of dominating her to that degree may even grow on you, if she is willing/
     
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