Let me start by saying that I love my husband dearly and in no way want to hurt him. I would like to open our marriage, but I do not know how to bring up this topic without hurting him. I don't want him to feel that I love him any less or that I am not happy with our marriage and sex life. I'm very happy with him, but there are 'needs' of mine that he cannot meet. I am a submissive and have been all my life. However, I was ashamed of my desires and tried to push them away. I married very young and it wasn't until after I was married that I realized how deeply I need someone to submit to. I'm also pretty heavy into S/M. I can do ok without it for a time, but after a while the urge is just too strong to deny. It's like a drug. I've discussed this all with my husband and he has done a good job trying to give me what I need in the physical sense. He can Top a bit in the bedroom, has roughened things up and I love it. He enjoys some of it, but much of what I love the most he only does to make me happy, it does nothing for him. I will admit that I haven't told him the extent of my kinks, but this is only because he reacted badly to things that weren't nearly as extreme as the ones I've kept secret. I've tried explaining my need to be submissive, and although he had a hard time wrapping his head around it, he attempted to take up the Dom role. It ended up turning out pretty badly. Some people are Doms, some aren't - it's not something you can force and it just isn't him. So here I am, desperate to explore, to go to munches, to play, everything, yet I'm married. He has his own preferences in the bedroom as well, and I just don't fit with them either. We can find a happy middle for the both of us, but at the end of the day, we're both left curious and a tad unsatisfied. How can I suggest an open marriage without offending him? P.S. I'm not very good at explaining all this. I don't want an open marriage so I can go sleep around with other men - that's not what is driving me. The desire to have someone to submit to, the desire to explore is what is driving me. And I'd like to go to a munch without being ostrasized for being there without my husband's knowledge. Hope that makes sense.