ok so im about to take the first step...

Noobsubbot · May 7, 2010

So as the title suggests I'm about to take my first "official" step into being a sub... I've found a guy who is into BDSM (Yes I know there are thousands out there and finding one isn't exactly groundbreaking) and into me. Now I haven't felt comfortable letting this side of me show to many people, mostly because of the warped self image that I have.. but back to my actual point... He has agreed to train me in being a sub, or at least a better sub...

I've been reading alot about the do's and don'ts and so I'm well versed on all of that... My query is, what can I do that will drive him wild? I want to be a good sub for him and pleasing him is what I want, But I get the feeling that he is a "proactive" master, meaning that he wants me to please him without having to be told to do so.

Now, please don't get this mixed up in me having a crap self image, because sexual pleasure is something that I pride myself on, however, does anyone have any tips or tricks that I could try out?

Am I making any sense? I'm rather nervous about the whole thing, which I suppose is good because ill be on my toes...

sillylittlepet · May 7, 2010

well a really easy way to drive him wild would be to say "master, tell me the things that turn you on. Please dont hold back sir, I'm willing to do anything for you!"
and then you do those things

See the problem is that everyone has specialized tastes. (I know, I know, its very frusterating when you want tips and ideas, not just a general overview. Believe me, I'm like a vulture for tips and ideas)

Let me give you an example.
One guy on this forum goes nuts for stockings and garters and fishnets and tights
One girl on this forum is really into puppy play
My master loves it when I struggle and fight and make a ton of noise during playtime
I personally go wild when my master is super rough with me

Do you see what I'm saying? Its so individualized.
We could give you all this advice on stuff we like, but it might not match up with his desires. And really, he's the one you're catering to

PrettyInInk · May 7, 2010

Haha I asked a question kind of like this and got some advice that worked for me, at least. It went something like this: "just about every dom wants you to beg for something." Excited for you, subbot

I'm just getting started too!

sebastian · May 7, 2010

Noob, Silly is right. Training is, in part, about teaching the sub what the dom likes. Every dom has his or her particular fetishes that really send them. For example, I like moderate pain play (tt, cbt especially) and i especially like it when the boy starts begging me to stop what I'm doing. That begging drives me wild because it shows me that I have complete control, to ease off or to keep going. So I really like boys have beg well. Another dom might totally dislike that--some like their subs quiet or gagged. But I don't like gags because they prevent that begging. About the closest thing I can think of to a universal preference is, as Pretty said, begging, but that can take different forms. Some doms like having a sub beg for attentio, or beg to please the dom in a particular way. Most doms like enthusiasm and a willingness to obey, but even that isn't universal--I like a boy with a little resistance in him because I enjoy conquering.

So listen to what your dom says during training. Pay close attention to how he reacts to things. If you start moaning and he smiles, that's probably a sign that he likes that. If it's not clear, ask him to clarify what he enjoys. Silly's suggestion about how to open the conversation is a good one.

One other point--you sort of run yourself down in your post. Don't do that. Just because finding a dom isn't super hard doesn't mean that it's not a very important step in your life. There's no need to be ashamed of inexperience--everyone starts somewhere. No one here is going to slag you for thinking that finding a dom is a big deal, because it is a big deal. We're happy for you.

sillylittlepet · May 8, 2010

Oh misso I have the SAME problem!
And then my master always scolds me for not begging hard enough! Its like a trap I havent learned to avoid yet

loooool noobsub I just realized that you have the greatest name

I've realized that my role on this forum is teaching newbies the joys of communication XD

Amuk · May 8, 2010

The list is practically infinite. People are diverse, and can differ in any number of ways. It would be nigh on impossible to accurately tell you what to do right. So as everyone is saying, ask him. It's really the only way to know what to do.

sillylittlepet said:
I've realized that my role on this forum is teaching newbies the joys of communication XD

Exactly. The most important thing is communication. That goes for any relationship, vanilla or otherwise.

Noobsubbot · May 8, 2010

Thanks guys, believe it or not the lack of specifics has actually helped!! I'm really excited!!! hehe

sebastian · May 8, 2010

Maso, for me good begging reveals a sense of desperation. I want my boys to be desperate to play with me, desperate for me to stop what I'm doing, and so on. Often when guys start getting desperate, there's a change in the tone of their voice. Does that help?

Sparrow69 · May 8, 2010

as silly said, ask him. Communicate communicate communicate, it cant be said enough. It's the only surefire way to build a lasting relationship in anything, and in bdsm its the same requirement with a different topic.

Best advice beyond that, pay very close attention. most doms don't like having to tell you over and over again what they like, and they may not exactly use words to tell you. Be aware and don't forge that body language is 95% of human communication. Good luck, and welcome to the forum.

Noobsubbot · May 9, 2010

OH MY GOD.... I just got home from seeing my dom... and Oh My God.. It was the most rewarding thing I've probably done... I'm covered in red marks from shoulders to thighs and feel like I'm floating on clouds... I've been completely used and it's fantastic... Ohhh I can't even express the joy I am feeling... why didn't I try this sooner???

Thanks for all your help guys, I asked my Master what he wanted and he told me, showed me and used me for his pleasure... *hugs* for all of you!!!

ok so im about to take the first step...

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