Odd Form of Sub Drop


MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Hey, glad to see you back. It's been my experience that subs need to respect their Doms abilities in order to fully submit. If you really think he's that bad then you don't trust or respect him and your feelings are a natural reaction to prevent you from doing something that's not true to your nature. Sort of a safety valve that's preventing you from forcing the s/D relationship.
 
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MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Well, darn. I was hoping you guys would take me prisoner forever and ever and ever:) I have taken a break (kind of) from playing, so now I'm just reading up and getting into my friend's business... (Thus this question.) Still with my boyfriend, and perhaps I'll post an update on how we're doing later.

So about this Dom and my friend... She met him on Fetlife. They are both fledging kinksters and he's never done anything before. They practiced ropes together and he tied her up. She liked it and let him top her. She went to his birthday party, they got drunk, she realized that he wasn't really as good as the first time. He's also not her type it sounds... Had a long conversation with her about it.

She's a DLG like me, and he was just being her Dom, not her Daddy. They're both young and inexperienced. He was a bit too aggressive. She thinks that her little girl side is upset at her subbie side because of the rough treatment without the cuddles and baths and hair brushing. (She's a LOT like me.) She said she's now just whiny and doesn't want to do anything for herself and although another Dom is interesting her, she's NOT liking the idea of submission, although she's a very, very submissive little.

I think I am in agreement with what you guys are saying... But how does she get rid of it? She's asking on Fetlife, but she says the suggestions aren't helping. I told her I'd ask my sources. LOL.
 
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sebastian

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MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Well, darn. I was hoping you guys would take me prisoner forever and ever and ever:)

Just because I won't do it doesn't mean that RopeRanger or someone else can't do it....

A couple thoughts here:
1) Many inexperienced subs really enjoy that first time playing with a dom, because they're finally getting to live out a piece of the fantasy. Imagination and horniness cover a multitude of sins. The second time she was more conscious of the flaws in his style.

2) He's a poor dom because he's inexperienced, and has probably never read or thought about what it takes to be a good dom. But a small piece of the blame may lie with your friend. If she didn't explain to him what she was looking for, he has no way to know what she's looking for. He may have thought she wanted the stereotypical asshole dom instead of the more gentle daddy dom. Or he may just be an asshole. There's no way to know if she doesn't talk to him about what happened. Remember, communication is the place to start with any problem in BDSM.

3) How to fix it? It may simply take her a little time to put the experience behind her. If she's really a sub, eventually her submissiveness is going to start pushing her to seek out another dom, and hopefully it will be sooner rather than later. But talking it out with the dom might help her resolve some of her unhappiness, by allowing her to express her complaint in a constructive form to the appropriate person. Climbing back on the horse is often a good idea, so making the active choice to play with another dom may help kickstart her submissive libido.
 
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Knots

Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Well, darn. I was hoping you guys would take me prisoner forever and ever and ever:) I have taken a break (kind of) from playing, so now I'm just reading up and getting into my friend's business... (Thus this question.) Still with my boyfriend, and perhaps I'll post an update on how we're doing later.

So about this Dom and my friend... She met him on Fetlife. They are both fledging kinksters and he's never done anything before. They practiced ropes together and he tied her up. She liked it and let him top her. She went to his birthday party, they got drunk, she realized that he wasn't really as good as the first time. He's also not her type it sounds... Had a long conversation with her about it.

She's a DLG like me, and he was just being her Dom, not her Daddy. They're both young and inexperienced. He was a bit too aggressive. She thinks that her little girl side is upset at her subbie side because of the rough treatment without the cuddles and baths and hair brushing. (She's a LOT like me.) She said she's now just whiny and doesn't want to do anything for herself and although another Dom is interesting her, she's NOT liking the idea of submission, although she's a very, very submissive little.

I think I am in agreement with what you guys are saying... But how does she get rid of it? She's asking on Fetlife, but she says the suggestions aren't helping. I told her I'd ask my sources. LOL.

Don't honestly think inexperienced kink and drink should be mixed. I'd refuse to do A LOT of stuff if I was "drunk". Even outside of kink, pissed sex is more often unsuccessful than successful.

Personally don't take a sympathetic view on this.
 
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