NewFound and Inspired

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by WaxWorker, Sep 21, 2009.

  1. WaxWorker

    WaxWorker New Member

    i have recently discovered that i can actually live out my sadistic fantasies when i attended a BDSM party by chance. i had been involved in some fetish work in my earlier college years but was turned off by the clients who were all male. i won't go into my fantasies here, but after attending the party i have become profoundly inspired. i'm an artist and a very spiritual/religious personality but these things don't conflict with my newfound interest, but rather enhance it. i am however at a total loss as to what is the next step. to finding a girl who would submit to me. i already have rope from a previous relationship (one which i had been too young to appreciate). i am eager to go to the hardware store for pullies, winches, and cross bars. and i love to work with wax. i live in Chicago, and though i have every intention of attending the next BDSM party and talking with some of my new friends that's not for another month.
    so i beseech you, fine people of SMplace forum to share with me your experience and advice for coming into this new lifestyle.
    thanks all
    much appreciated
  2. EZRA

    EZRA Member

    I haven't done wax before but heard of it.
    sounds interesting.
    I afraid I don't have much for you in the way of finding a subgirl.
    but I wouldn't worry about equipment right now it will depend on who you find to play with and it usually starts slow .we subs have to build a certain amount of trust before well just turn ourselves over to someone at least the those of us who have any sense.
    So your unlikely to find some girl who will just throw her self at your feet. (at first)
    Be patient, open minded and remember there alot more to women than looks.

    I know from personal experiance that early on in our new found selves the urge to play is strong and overwhelming so try to take a breath and remember it takes time.
    I still find myself obsessing about it.
  3. I agree with EZRA 100%....

    Sometimes things move a bit quicker than expected but only when it feels right. And the urge to play is very overwhelming in the beginning. I have even resorted to spanking myself with a belt at times of desperation before I met my Master. Even now, we are in that wonderful 'new' phase and are still taking the desire for sex to a compulsion, it's great. :D

    I know that I learned a lot from the guys that I talked to but didn't end up with. Even through failure you decide what you don't want, or can't live with/without. So put out an ad, join the fetish personals sites, throw yourself out there and start figuring out what it is that works for you. It's almost like hitting puberty and learning to date all over again. Good luck!
  4. WaxWorker

    WaxWorker New Member

    thank you both. i guess i can't help but be excited. what are some sites that can be used to explore the possibilities? i'm not very internet savvy and actually tend to avoid it if i can. i think even the only reason i had never been willing to embrace sadomasochism as a possibility in my life is becasue i hadn't seen it done with my own two eyes by real life people in the world. you can't always trust pictures to be portraying accurately a person's desires, but if you can look directly into that person's eyes you will know.
  5. 1. I couldn't have said it better myself. You have to work slowly with a slave so that you can get used to one another, especially if the slave you get is new to the lifestyle, too. Also remember that just because the last session was intense doesn't necessarily mean that the next session can/should be as intense. You need to determine what your slave can handle.

    2. Early on in my relationship with my Master I had no idea when I was getting near the edge of my limits so I didn't know when to warn my Master that he was getting close to breaking me. Don't forget, you are the one that has to be in control of the situation at all times. You don't get to lose yourself in the moment, the health and well being, and potentially the life, of your sub/slave is in your hands. You can enjoy yourself, but don't lose yourself (I think us slaves have it way easier).
  6. Unless they're blindfolded! :D

    You sound responsible enough, and AWARE enough that you realize the Master has a huge responsibility for their sub. Communication will develop into a 'knowing'.. you will know by the sub's reaction how they are doing, and eventually how much they are able to endure in any one adventure. Depending on the individual, there are many signs, reactions, and clues you can use to guide the adventure, and your overall progress. I would always discuss the adventure afterwards (especially early in the relationship) and get direct feedback from the sub. One of the keys of any sub finding a level of 'subspace' is for them to be able to relax, and completely place themselves in the Master's hands confident that the only thing that will happen is a mind-blowing experience. Requires tremendous trust and usually doesn't happen immediately.

    As for pictures and movies; yeah, they're staged in a controlled environment. Use them for ideas as to what the two of you would like to do for your own scenarios, things to explore, levels of intensity, settings, toys, and the like. You can find a wide variety of pictures and videos here on this site.

    People who can act on their deepest/darkest desires have much more profound relationships than those stuck in a vanilla world. You're not alone, and there's nothing wrong with having these desires and acting on them. Safe, sane, consensual.

    Remember: without the sub, there is no Master.

Share This Page