My wife and I have been together a little over a year. We recently discovered we both enjoy BDSM, and have really similar fantasies (her from a domme/switch perspective, and me from a sub perspective). We are both domestic violence and sexual assault survivors, so the going has been a tad tricky, and we've had a few more triggers than we were prepared for. We're still very new to this, and I think we may have jumped in too fast (although that provided some great lessons right off the bat, too). So, some issues we're coming up against are how to be assertive as a sub (I find it really hard to speak up when I'm purposely putting myself in a submissive situation); resources for survivors, and for lesbians; and feeling safe when we've both been triggered at the same time. We have both tried BDSM with former partners, with disastrous ends. We're talking constantly, and thankfully we have this solid, trusting, loving relationship to build on...but it's still rough at times. Any thoughts, suggestions, links, books, articles...anything would be helpful. Thanks so much.