I am seriously disturbed......... I am brand new to the scene I have fantasized about it for a long time and finally decided to give it a try. I am naturally submissive but have a complicated past. I am an incest survivor so I have some obvious issues and spent a long time searching for the right person to play with. Finally I thought I found him. I met with him last night. So I told him what I was looking for and what was and was not ok with me. We met up at a grocery store and I got in his van. Blindfolds have always been a turn on for me. So I put it on as instructed. Was taken to his home (or so I thought) and led to a chair. I disrobed as instructed. Then was led somewhere and told not to move. He took my hands and put them in restraints and told me the more I struggled the tighter they would get. He told me there were no safe words here and I would do everything I was told or else I would pay for it. He told me we were in a barn in the middle of the country and if I screamed nobody would hear me. He said he didn't like screaming so if I didn't keep it to moaning it would be worse for me. Proceed to threaten me asking me how I didn't know he was a killer. Every boundary I set before hand he took great pleasure in breaking! Is it normal to break in a new submissive this way? I am devastated and feel very violated. I experienced my worst nightmares and more. I was actually afraid for my life. If this is what it is all about I was very very wrong in my expectations.