New to the community, have a few questions

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by youngidealist, May 28, 2009.

  1. youngidealist

    youngidealist New Member

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    I've been curious and open-minded about bdsm for a while and now I happen to be dating a woman who used to be a professional dom and who I think preferrs being submissive. I've been toying with her and she's been teaching me how to whip her, but we seem to have hit a wall where she doesn't tell me what to say, and the funny jokes that come to my mind are a distraction to her. In short, I really need to know where to find ideas of what to say (and probably also what to do) while punishing her.

    Are there resources full of ideas of what to say? She in particular said she'd like me to do teacher and/or priest role play, but I keep thinking that I should have a clear subject that I'm teaching and both of us are anti-christianity so it's hard for me to think of being a priest without referencing the typical fallacies that go with them. I know, I must sound retarded to you. Please help me learn how to not miss the point of it all.

    I am pretty vanilla and while I want to be able to be punished for her and I think I could like it, I tend to complain too much about the pain, even when I can take it. It's the anticipation of getting hit that bothers me more than being hit. I'm kinda OCD in a few respects too, so I would probably work well with anything that is made for such people to handle.

    Aside from not knowing what to say, dom is easy for me. My family has a history of being abusive that I control and do not repeat, so a tiny bit of aggression taken out on someone in a controlled fashion is familiar to me.
  2. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

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    if shes into a particular style of roleplay, the best place to start in my opinion is with costumes. putting on a costume or a priest, may go farther then helping her fulfill a fantasy, it may actually help you get in the mindset needed to focus on what to say.

    As far as tips... perhaps you could pretend shes a catholic schoolgirl and your punishing her for being promiscuous and tempting, or perhaps its an exorcism and your trying to expel a lustful demon or succubus of some sort to save her immortal soul...

    Hope that helps, and welcome to the community and the lifestyle. I hope you enjoy they stay.
  3. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

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    1. Nobody said you had to be a christian priest. has a list of over 100 love and/or sex gods & goddesses. Just because Chou Wang (The Chinese god of sodomy apparently) doesn't have a temple in your neighborhood doesn't mean he won't appreciate the sentiment.

    On a somewhat related aside I'm working on an altar to Poena (rarely mentioned Greek goddess of pain) for my dungeon. I figure if catholics can have polytheism then so can I. (OK, sure, they pray to "saints" now instead of a pantheon of deities which did the exact same thing under different names... For the love of Cthulhu they have saints for drug dealers, machine-gunners, prostitutes, and venereal disease.)

    2. So far my favorite way to learn new and interesting ways to dominate someone has been to enlist the aide of professional dominatrices and order "whatever you do best". Granted I've spent a few sessions laughing my ass off at what other people think is sexy, but I've also learned dozens of new and interesting things I would never have experienced otherwise. Or you could just repeat what you see in BDSM porn.

    PS: The first thing most dominatrices I've sessioned with will do when given carte blanche is strap a pair of high heels on me. I have no idea why this is (maybe I have nice legs?).
  4. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

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    ReallyGreen is right, you can adapt however you see fit. ReallyGreen, I love some of your idead, and these are right up there at the top.

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    Like mine? Pics plz RG. :D

    Young Id . . . . Ask her to confess all the pervy things she used to do as a dom, if she refuses, punish her, if she tells all, punish her for her 'crimes against men' or somesuch. Be positive, brave, and don't smile. Good luck.
    Last edited: May 28, 2009

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