New to submission and bdsm

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by SubMarie19, Jun 12, 2012.

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  1. SubMarie19

    SubMarie19 New Member

    Alright. So I have been into the D/s relationships and master slave stuff for a while.. I've been trying to find a man who can be my master but none of the guys I met were good enough or had any charisma.. I'm only 19 do you think I'm to young to have a master or should I keep looking for one.
     
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Well, thats a tough call, especially since we don't know you at all. In general, I think that BDSM works best when those involved have had some experience of relationships and romance in general, so in that sense I'd encourage you to just date guys; some will be kinky, others vanilla. On the other than, there are young subs who are very clear on what they want and need, and you may be one of them.

    If you do seek out a master, don't assume that you're going to be with that master your whole life--very few people find their life partner at your age. So don't take any steps with your master that might be hard to back out of (for example, don't let him tattoo his name on you; don't let him get you pregnant). Also, be aware that lots of supposed doms are just assholes who prey on inexperienced young women like you. Some will just use you in a bad way, some will try to rape you, some will rip you off, etc. So go slow, set strict limits with your prospective master, and make him earn your trust.
     
  3. Moonlight

    Moonlight Member

    At 19 I would worry more about having fun instead of finding a master and go from there. If you meet someone go from there.
     
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  4. edjixxx

    edjixxx Member

    .....at 19, my definition of 'gun's was "sex".......lol. submarie, I wouldn't go looking in a serious fashion, but more have fun. Sebastian has a good point of experience with relationship intricacies.
     
  5. Moonlight

    Moonlight Member

    I met my husband while I was at a party not even looking for a relationship. I was at the time sure I would be single forever since at the old age of 17 I had never made it past 3 dates before I was done, having friends screen the calls and if it that guy I went out with last night I am not here. I am not in the mood to hear him try to talk me into one more date, done. I was much more into seeing how drunk I could get then meeting anyone, yet he saw me and was interested. He said he watched me all night and even talked to me a little. I honestly do not remember, although like I said I was too busy getting drunk. I did not even remember talking to him. I woke up at my friends house and she was all excited about this guy that told her boyfriend to make sure I came back to the next party. That was back in 91 and we have been together since. That is why I say go and enjoy yourself. Live your life. You will meet plenty chances to meet potential partners when you least expect it.
     
  6. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Although I agree that you shouldn't necessarily only be looking for a permanent dom, I think the others are discouraging you a bit too much. I'm nineteen as well, and I think it's a little silly, the focus on 'go have fun.'

    And even if it's unlikely that at nineteen you'll find a for-keeps master, you are not too young to have one in general, temporary or no.

    I do agree with Sebby that you shouldn't be completely focused finding a dom, if you can stand dating vanilla. Date normally, not just through fetish events or websites, and you'll probably find doms that way anyway. That ties into what Moonlight said- you can do 'normal' things and find a dom unexpectedly that way. But that's not just advice based on age.

    Regarding the doms themselves being uncharismatic and so on... there are a lot of shitty new doms out there who just use it as a way to get the sex they want, and as Sebby warned, there are also those using it to hide abuse. So use caution, and don't get your hopes too high on a first meeting.

    Sorry, I repeated myself a lot.
     
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