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Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Philstheboss, Sep 14, 2014.

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  1. Philstheboss

    Philstheboss New Member

    Hi all , my wife and I are into bdsm but she feels that I need to find out more about using the limited toys we have. I feel I should do this as when she is not being disciplined she gets very mouthy and disrespectful.

    We have mainly cheap toys as money is an issue but would like to make use of floors walls etc. I would also welcome advice on flogging etc as she has a very low pain threshold and we both want to build this up. She does not take much flogging till she is aroused and then can take a lot more.

    My wife has a body to die for to me and is a very passionate and sensitive plaything but she does feel that we can grow together. We also want to do some humiliation play.

    Over to you
     
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  2. have you tried doing it with another couple?
     
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Phil: Sorry I missed this when you posted it. In most subs, the pain threshold is something that develops over time. So if you wife has a low pain threshold, it may will rise with experience.

    The nerves that carry pain signals are also the nerves that carry pleasure signals, and they can't carry more than one kind of signal at a time. Pain play makes use of this fact by starting slowly, getting the body to send pleasure signals through gentle play and then slowly ramping up to pain. This causes the body to process the pain as if it is pleasure, but if you go too aggressively, the body realizes it should be feeling pain and flips over. At that point, you have to stop because you can't get the body feeling pleasure again without a little more priming. So your wife's experiences are quite common--low tolerance early on, higher after some play.
     
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