New to bondage and need some ideas plz

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Bondage Mad, Jun 9, 2010.

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  1. Bondage Mad

    Bondage Mad New Member

    Hey evry1 im relatively new to bondage and have just started a relationship with someone who is also interested in; she likes rather strict bondage, such as rope, nipple clamps, forced orgasms, being treated like an animal and being punished and trained as a sex slave.

    I would be very grateful for any ideas any1 has to offer me .
     
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  2. Martello

    Martello Member

    Man oh man did you come to exactly the right place.
    first off welcome to the forum. Here you will find some amazing advice, suggestions and so on. Look at and view everything, get a hold of what it is you do and do not like. They are equally important. Same goes for your sub. It's important to make sure you're both on the same page and communicate openly and freely - without any judgment. It's always important to make sure you never make one another feel like what they're interested is wrong, so consideration to feelings is a big key.

    It sounds like you have your foot in the door which is a pretty big plus and you can both move forward from there.

    The advice I give that I feel is best is, go to a retail bondage gear site, go though anything and everything and decide what you both like and things you might find that you want to try. And make sure everything is talked about. Once you both advance to the point of where you understand one another it will always be fun to order something new as a surprise to play with.

    Cheers
     
  3. Bondage Mad

    Bondage Mad New Member

    Ty, some of the things i was thinking of was getting a cage and making her sit in there for a while, possibly with some nipple clamps on. She also likes to have cold water poured onto her but im sure sure how i could incorporate that into the session. Also should i only let her cum after she has been fully punished or should i give her an orgasm after every small amount of pain.
     
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  4. Martello

    Martello Member

    The orgasm issue is something you guys will work out in time. You'll learn a lot from one another, reactions and likes and dislikes. I would say a good first step is orgasm as a reward might be a good first step. Just decide when the right time is, as far as what you had planned. Personally i like to make sure enough orgasm are had so that eventually they almost become torture.
     
  5. Bondage Mad

    Bondage Mad New Member

    that sounds really good thanks, any ideas on the water
     
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  6. Martello

    Martello Member

    Oh yeah! If I had come come up with a situation to involve a number of her likes, get her in a cage on her knees hands restrained behind her back, clover nipple clamps, have the chain be within reach or attached the cage in front of her. have her go down on with a pitcher of ice water on the top of the cage and instruct her that when you dump the ice water on her, each time she is to do something different. Maybe her que to deep throat you, speed up, slow down, tell you how much of a dirty little whore she is or all of the above. you could also, which i might do myself is tie a rope to the wrist restrains behind her back and either attach it to the cage at the top or make it so i can pull up on it. just be careful with that.
     
  7. Darktruth

    Darktruth Member

    Does it have to be during playtime or can it be anytime you feel like it?

    If its anytime you want then you could just throw her under a cold shower. I think it was Sparrow (might have been Martello actually) who said he throws his sub under a cold shower and he wont let her out until she cums.

    If it has to be in “playtime†then there are lots of things you could do to incorporate it into a session. One example…set up an interrogation scene and after a while drag her into the bathroom and throw a bucket of cold water on her (or just throw her into a cold shower), from there you could drag her back to the room where you’re holding the scene while she’s still wet and carry on from where you left off. :D
     
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  8. Martello

    Martello Member

    BTW as far as a cage goes, you might be able to get away with an extra large dog crate, one that folds for storage. if it isnt tall enough, get one with a side door entrance to the cage and turn it up on its back end for more hight which in turn will create less space to move around that could add to the moment. however www.extremerestrains.com has cages but are a good sum of money.
    but dog crates, i would look at the foster and smith site if you dont have a store close by that sells ones of that size.
     
  9. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Congrats to getting into the scene. Let me give you a rather different piece of advice here. If you're going to be a bondage top, you need to do a lot of reading about safety. Bondage is the riskiest facet of BDSM, and strict bondage is the riskiest end of that spectrum. There are a lot of things that can go wrong, and you need to know how to anticipate them and what to do if something does happen. You need to learn what not to do (for example, never run a rope or strap over a joint or the throat), what warning signs to watch out for (if you tie off a body part strictly, you need to check it every 5-10 minutes to make sure it's not going cold or getting discolored), and what sorts of safety gear you need (if you're doing rope or leather strap bondage, ALWAYS have an EMT shears on hand in case you need to cut the person out fast). I don't want to scare you--the safety basics are easy to learn and don't require serious training (although taking a first aid class is good advice for any dom)--but with the privilege of control comes the responsibility of safety.
     
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  10. Boundperil

    Boundperil Member

    I would start with verbal, it is a great way to degrade safely and get a feel for each others wants and desires. Fine tuning that is the key.

    Cold water torture can be fun. I tied a sub up one time to the bed in a modified mummy position with a vibrator in her spot and ass. I left one ankle free and hung a bucket of cold water over her, then attached a rope to a hook (premounted to the bucket) through another hook then lifted her one leg up and secured that end of the rope to her ankle. If she lowered her ankle she dumped the water on herself. It was ice water, actually had ice in the water, to say the least it was could.

    I then turned on the vibrators. She was told if she dumped to much water she would be punished, but had to work the vibrators to make herself cum.

    It was fun to watch....
     
  11. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    BM - PLEASE Re-Read what Sebastian said. That way I don't have to type it all over again.

    There's lots of people with bad memories and sometimes worse from playing without understanding what they are doing.

    If you are going to be a top, please read first, then work into your new world.

    Some of those things that excite you at the bondage and play stores can kill, injure, or maim your partner.

    John Warren's "Loving Dominant", Easton/Hardy's "The New Topping Book" would be good starters. There are several other articles available online

    At the very least, start with this
    http://www.bcwsd.com/backroom/library/articles_us/bkurs01.htm

    It covers most of the immediate things to start with.

    Others that I like are "SM101" and "On the Safe Edge, a manual for sm play"

    You are in charge of your partner's pleasure, and her safety, and you have to know how to hurt her without bringing her harm.

    By the way..... Colver clamps are not for beginners, Orgasm is not always a reward, and pain is not always punishment.

    Welcome to the forum (and I mean that)
     
  12. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    One specific safety point--bondage experts suggest that clamps not be left on a body part for longer than 10-20 minutes depending on how tight they are and what they're clamped to. Tight clamps cut off the blood flow to the tissue involved and after 10-20 minutes the tissue may begin to suffer permanent damage from blood loss. Also, if a clamp has been left on for 5+ minutes, when you take it off, there will be a momentary surge of pain as blood starts to flow into the tissue again. Be prepared for this.

    You might want to start with clamps that have adjustable tightness, like tweezer clamps or jumper cable clamps. That way you can start them mild and gradually train your sub to tighter settings. Clothespins are pretty good to start with as well. I like to think of clothespins as tit handles.

    Another important domming principle--never do to your sub what you have not experienced yourself. So before you start exploring pain play, try those clamps on your own tits for a minute or two. This is actually a very important principle with pain play and bondage. You absolutely need to understand what the thing you are doing feels like, both for safety reasons and because it will help you understand the sub's experience and therefore play off of it. A few weeks ago, I let a buddy crop my ass. Halfway through, he started playing mind games with me, whipping the crop through the air but not hitting me. I could hear it and it made me flinch in anticipation. I immediately realized that this was something I needed to use on my own boys. The last time I was blindfolded, it really helped me realize how important it was for the dom to play with sound and to touch the sub in unexpected ways.
     
  13. Martello

    Martello Member

    Any updates Mad?
     
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