New to bdsm

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Insanejoker420, Feb 3, 2013.

  1. Insanejoker420

    Insanejoker420 New Member

    The other day my girl friend said she was interested in the bdsm lifestyle. She is a sub and I'm more of the dominate. I never really looked into it before and don really no what it consists of. How do I go about the lifestyle. I've read alot in the past couple days that just explains it what it's about but not how it actually done. Like what changes do we make in our life. What is it really all about. What I got from her is it pleases her by pleasing me pleasing her. If that makes sense. A little more info about us is we've been together for 3 years and she's now just feeling comfortable enough to open up about bdsm. She thought I would be weirded out by it which I'm not I'm pretty open minded. I just need a little help or guidance on how I fulfill a dominate role to keep both of us happy
     
  2. sweetling91

    sweetling91 Member

    Hi!

    Have you read the FAQ post on this forum already? If you haven't then you should because there are some pointers for you in there. You just have to read it carefully and if you still have questions then you could post them.

    Good luck and have fun together
     
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    After you've read the FAQ, sit down and have a long and very honest conversation with her. Ask her about the Four Sphere and what elements of them she's curious about, and tell her what elements you're curious about. Choose one or two of the simpler ones that you both share and start exploring.
     
  4. mybdsmworld1

    mybdsmworld1 New Member

    Just bare in mind that there may not be any easy way out of this.
    Some times, when it comes down to this, some people would not complement each other.
    Gl to u guys
     
  5. Hendrixoo

    Hendrixoo New Member

    Videos and articles always help. You understand it, both, by what is innately in you and how you see it performed.

    A dominant should be aware of the power exchange, making his sub feel comfortable and safe in the setting, and what pleases her. Know that the first rule of being a Dom is that you are not really in control, your sub is. She is the one that sets the boundaries and parameters of your play. She is the one that says when it is over. Within those boundaries you are in control.
     
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    But do be aware with porn vids that they almost always edit out the safety precautions. Don't assume that what you see in a video is automatically safe.
     

Share This Page