New to BDSM, need advice

Zanev

New Member

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Hello,

Me and my fiance (I'm male, fiance is female) are just getting into BDSM. It started with her tying me up, gagging me and humiliating me verbally. My main question is, where do we go from here? I'm not sure what I'm into or what she is into because we've never tried anything. Where can you recommend we start? One thing I am sure about is I love being submissive and she loves being dominate.
 
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MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, I just mean that you might want to look through other posts and see if you can get any ideas for what you might be interested in. Then we can help you from there =)

Edit: God damnit. I HAVE to start having someone read my posts before I post them =( I keep coming off like an uberbitch.
 
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sebastian

Active Member

MIRROR: Download from MEGA

Ok, so as I see it, d/s play has four major facets, although they overlap: 1) Control (control role play, sexual servitude, forced chastity, cum control and milking) 2) Bondage (ropes, leather straps, cuffs and spreader bars, straight jackets, hoods, blindfolds, as well as sensory deprivation and other sub-fields) 3) Pain play (tit torture, cock and ball torture, cropping, paddling, spanking, whipping, flogging, hot wax, electro) 4) verbal abuse and humiliation (mocking, insulting, spitting, water sports, puppy play, domestic service, forced feminization, infantilization, forced nudity, dehumanization as furniture, masks, humiliation role play). None of those lists are exhaustive. You know you like 2 and 4, so do any of the examples sound interesting to you? Does anything from 1 or 3 sound intriguing? Some types of pain play flow very naturally out of bondage (boy is all tied up and certain bits are hanging out and easily tortured...) Rather than trying to tell you everything that you might find interesting, ask about a couple of specifics.

As beginners in a massive and in places risky field, you are well advised to do a lot of reading about anything you think you might want to try. 2 and 3 carry some very serious health risks once you get even a little way off the main road, so learn the health and safety basics before you go too far. Don't be intimidated, but don't just go off on a romp with no thought about the dangers.
 
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