New to BDSM, need advice

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Zanev, May 12, 2010.

  1. Zanev

    Zanev New Member

    Hello,

    Me and my fiance (I'm male, fiance is female) are just getting into BDSM. It started with her tying me up, gagging me and humiliating me verbally. My main question is, where do we go from here? I'm not sure what I'm into or what she is into because we've never tried anything. Where can you recommend we start? One thing I am sure about is I love being submissive and she loves being dominate.
     
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  2. Start by looking through the forum. There's TONS of advice threads out there with this same title.
     
  3. Zanev

    Zanev New Member


    I guess my first mistake was not using the search feature. sorry
     
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  4. Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, I just mean that you might want to look through other posts and see if you can get any ideas for what you might be interested in. Then we can help you from there =)

    Edit: God damnit. I HAVE to start having someone read my posts before I post them =( I keep coming off like an uberbitch.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2010
  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Ok, so as I see it, d/s play has four major facets, although they overlap: 1) Control (control role play, sexual servitude, forced chastity, cum control and milking) 2) Bondage (ropes, leather straps, cuffs and spreader bars, straight jackets, hoods, blindfolds, as well as sensory deprivation and other sub-fields) 3) Pain play (tit torture, cock and ball torture, cropping, paddling, spanking, whipping, flogging, hot wax, electro) 4) verbal abuse and humiliation (mocking, insulting, spitting, water sports, puppy play, domestic service, forced feminization, infantilization, forced nudity, dehumanization as furniture, masks, humiliation role play). None of those lists are exhaustive. You know you like 2 and 4, so do any of the examples sound interesting to you? Does anything from 1 or 3 sound intriguing? Some types of pain play flow very naturally out of bondage (boy is all tied up and certain bits are hanging out and easily tortured...) Rather than trying to tell you everything that you might find interesting, ask about a couple of specifics.

    As beginners in a massive and in places risky field, you are well advised to do a lot of reading about anything you think you might want to try. 2 and 3 carry some very serious health risks once you get even a little way off the main road, so learn the health and safety basics before you go too far. Don't be intimidated, but don't just go off on a romp with no thought about the dangers.
     
  6. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    pm me. I'll send you some stuff.

    You sound pretty lucky to me. Glad to hear it.

    Welcome to the forum. Please stick around and let us know how you are progressing.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2010

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