new to bdsm but inloved

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by nemo, Jun 9, 2010.

  1. nemo

    nemo New Member

    Good morning people!

    First of all, I'm italian sono excuse me if my english is awful.

    The situation is quite simple, I'm living a beatyful love story and my beloved told me that she has some "slavery tendences".

    All that I want for her is happiness and pleasure, but I've never been interested in bdsm, not rejected it but neved had a push toward it.

    So I'd like to talk to someone, better a lady to give me some info on what is she talking about before slapping a whipping all-aroud?

    All the images and videos I saw are full of men who puts cocumbers in the ass, and women squeezed in latex like mortadella, I asked some questions and that's not what she likes...

    She told me, that she likes to be "oppressed" and I can't figure out what sould I do...

    so please help me.

    thaks in adv.

    nemo
     
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  2. Darktruth

    Darktruth Member

    Mattina Nemo. Your Inglese era molto buono, molto meglio il mio italiano (cosa che infastidisce mia Nonna lol). Yes I had to look up the spelling of annoyed. :eek:

    Talk to her is the best advise I can give you. You know she doesn’t like cucumbers being shoved up her arse and she doesn’t like latex (Ho avuto mortadella per pranzo oggie lol) so that’s a good start. Talk to her, have her read some BDSM stories and then talk about what she liked in those stories. Find out if she wants this to be something strictly for the bedroom or if she wants to be your slave full time (if it’s that one then you’re a lucky guy).
     
  3. Martello

    Martello Member

    Dark has good advice there - communication is the best way to make sure you are both happy.
    What I like to do also is, go to the wed sites that sell bdsm gear and look at everything. This is a pretty good way to find what you both like and what both of you would like to try.
    I use www.extremerestraints.com and www.bdsmstore.com.

    If anyone is aware of a European site I think that would help a lot.
     
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  4. Darktruth

    Darktruth Member

    Good idea about looking for toys Martello, I'll remember that. :D Nemo could search on Google.it and he'll be able to find sex shops in Italy without any problems. :D
     
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    also bare in mind what she has already said. She wants to be "oppressed," which generally speaks a great deal about where to start. look into forced domination, degradation, and domestic slavery. all three have strong ties to oppression.
     
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    If she likes 'oppression', she may like verbal abuse and humiliation (although that's more common among male subs than female ones). If she does, make a point of calling her dirty names before or during sex: telling her she's a filthy whore, a useless cunt, a bitch in heat, or whatever. Be careful here; the point is to describe her in eroticized, hypersexualized terms, not to just call her names like saying she's a fat pig or whatever, which might inflict real emotional harm. Mock her for enjoying how you're treating her: "It's pathetic how much you're getting off on me spanking you. If you had any spine, you'd get angry. But you just lie there and love it."

    Strip her naked while you're still dressed, and then make her do humiliating things: make her give a cucumber a blow job or beg for you to spank her or have her blow you while you ignore her and read a book or something. Do things that emphasize that you have power over her.
     
  7. nemo

    nemo New Member

    thaks!

    well, in the next few days I'll do these and will keep u up to date.

    thaks a lot!

    c u asap
     

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