New Slave

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Sate_Sprie, Jun 11, 2009.

  1. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    I had a question, and wasn't sure where else to post it, so alas, here it is. =)

    I'm kinda of new to BDSM. My master and myself have been talking about it, and for the most part carrying through, but we've not entirely gotten serious about it yet. I was in school, and with his work schedule, we didn't see each other a lot, anyhow, we're being very serious about it now, and I'm already seeing how spoiled I have been. Master likes the build up anticipation, so a lot of times, he cums and I don't, and while I like to make him happy, I still get kinda of bummed that I'm not allowed and cannot fully enjoy the experience. I haven't told him, as he's not a very forgiving master and I'm a bad girl a lot, so I don't want to add to the punishments. I suppose my real question is, is it normal for me not to enjoy it that much, and will I learn to with time, or am I just being bad? =(
     
  2. francis_kitten

    francis_kitten New Member

    Let me begin by saying, I can not assume anything about your Master and your relationship. I know nothing of the circumstances of how you met, how intimate the bond is, what your relation outside of BDSM is, or what was agreed upon before beginning your relationship.

    All I can say is that you have rights as a submissive to be cared for properly, to be treated with respect in regards to personal limits, physical safety, and mental well being. You have a right to needs and desires. You should talk to your master and let him know what you expect, need, desire, and want. When you talk to your master, be polite and mindful of what you ask. Be clear on your needs and desires. Talking openly and honestly is the only way to resolve this issue fully.
     
  3. Nyx

    Nyx Member

    It's alright to approach this subject respectfully. Most Masters want to know your feelings (they just might not care if your feeling is 'ouch' in the middle of a spanking! :p).

    When I have something I want to discuss with my Master I first ask him if I can speak freely. Then I maintain my respectful tone. Don't accuse or whine, but if you discuss your thoughts openly it can only help your relationship grow.
     
  4. allen

    allen New Member

    You should be able to speek freely with him about this
     
  5. Yes, you should discuss limits and things like that, in full, before the games even begin. And you should also have the discussion 'out of character' because then he will know how serious you are about it.

    If you can come to some kind of agreement as to what's acceptable and what's not, then great. But always make sure you have a safeword/safetoy in case things get too much for you. There is no shame in finding there is something you can't bring yourself to do, for whatever reason.

    Good luck, I hope things work out for you both :)
     
  6. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    I always say that communication is key. it seems to me that you haven't had a discussion out outline the details of your relationship, which as was said above, you need to do. It could simply be that your master is into orgasm control, and is using it as a punishment. you yourself said you are bad a lot. Discussions of this sort are not uncommon, but i would seriously define the mature of your relationship first and foremost. what may be a matter of simple misunderstanding can do a lot of damage in the long run.
     
  7. corrosivecontact

    corrosivecontact New Member

    There's the ideal of the sub and then there's preferences. And that ideal is only something that might appeal to you, not any real dogma. So you have to decide between the extremities of the lifestyle, or if you might have preferences and needs which vary away from that. If you feel the desire to learn to embrace this ideal, then that's fine, but as others have said there is no shame in considering your limits OOC.
     
  8. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    We haven't really had a true in depth decussion I suposse. We've talked about it but I guess we never really did make many ground rules. The ones we made were pretty common, just a safe word and what not.

    He'll be waking up soon, I'll try to talk to him. I'll let you know how it goes.

    Thanks. =)
     
  9. subspace

    subspace Member

    Orgasm control has to be at the top of my list of least favorite punishments (probably why my Top uses it). The worst is not knowing how long the punishment will last and when it gets to weeks I begin to lose my mind. So, I would be very interested in knowing if your Master sees this type of play as a punishment as it seems that you do. Let us know how the talk goes.
     
  10. john12865

    john12865 New Member

    As Sadistic as I am, (needles, hot wax, burning, branding, hard caning) I always allow my pigs to have an orgasm at the end of every session. Naturally, I care about my pigs just as any one would care about valued live stock. I make them ask permission to cum and I will with hold permission until I want them to cum. My pigs get to cum every time, because I'm a kind Master.
     
  11. subspace

    subspace Member


    It doesn't phase me to have to ask permission, that part can be fun. It's the total denial that is so punishing, frustrating, humiliating, mind numbing.....
     
  12. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    I also have to ask permission. If I forget the next time I deff. won't get to, if I ask or not.

    Also, I asked master if we could talk later. He agreed. I've not been too good today, so I'm waiting till when he's pleased with me. He said we can play later, so, probably after that. =) I'll let you know.

    Also, I'll ask for certain if me not cumming is strictly for punishment sake or not. I'm not really sure.
     
  13. So how did it go?
     
  14. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    We actually had a pretty in-depth conversation. We discussed what we liked/didn't like, what scenarios interested us and what was exspected from each. We finally made a decision about if we want to just have a sub-dom relationship when it relates to sex or all the time. After some talk we decided we wanted to try it all the time. He kinda of wanted to, but didn't know if I did, and I did but never told him.

    We also talked about what extremities we really wanted to go to, and how much he thought I could take. We've been married for a while but I think my bluntness and lack of being freaked out by anything surprised him. We discussed concerns and what not, so I think we covered most everything.

    Also, I asked him outright if he was going to use orgasms as a punishment/reward thing or what. He said that it wouldn't necessarily use it as either but in a way it's based upon my behavior, so the way I took it I would have to be very bad, or if i'm really good then I might get to cum twice, but it may not be my behavior for a day, it may be based on my behavior for a week. ect. Basically, he told me not to worry that he'd take care of me, so not to let it hang me up.

    He said if I'm good, in the future he will have a collar made for me, with my name engraved on it. =)

    After our talk, well, because of our talk, Master let me get him off. Apparently I was very good and he's proud of me. =)

    Also, what's cock worship? I kind of know what it is, but not really, if that makes sense. So, I'm supposed to find out.

    This is long, sorry If i rambled, and for the gramatical errors. =P
     
  15. Good, I'm glad you got things sorted :)
     

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