i would like some opinions on this, please. i started dating someone and then found out he is a submissive. since prying that information out of him (which i already suspected anyway), i have taken on the role of his mistress. i never pictured myself in this role-- prior to this, if i ever had any fantasies about d/s, i was in the submissive position. however, now that we have been together for a couple of months, i am really starting to enjoy denying and humiliating him on a regular basis. BUT as i get deeper into my role, it has become more obvious to me why there are so many more stories around about d/s in long-term relationships/marriages instead of short term ones. the level of trust required in a d/s relationship is extraordinary. he is an excellent slave and will do whatever i tell him to do within the confines of sexuality (this is not a 24/7 setup... yet) the issue we are presently facing is that i am not yet fully comfortable in my role as mistress. i still prefer that he come on a regular basis and feel inadequate if he does not. i have tried ordering him to come before but once it did not work and have not done it since, as i was embarrassed that i could not force him to come. however, i don't feel comfortable in voicing my present hesitancy to him for two reasons-- 1) i think it is temporary and 2) i think it would "ruin" it for him if i did.. even though he probably already senses it anyway, at times. he also enjoys dressing in women's clothes. last week, i made him do it for me for the first time and, after a few hours of him prancing around the house in a skirt and fishnets, asked him if doing it for someone else was like he had thought about it for the last 10 years (this was his first time doing it for me or anybody else at all). he said no, that he felt much more laid-back than he anticipated. i think he was getting off on the fact that it's a "weird" thing to do but i don't actually find it weird at all and so did not treat him that way. instead, i told him how good he looked (in many different ways) and i really meant it. i also told him how slutty he is... as he really did look like a slut. i quite liked how he looked and the undercurrent of my power over him even when we were just sitting there chatting about normal things. in short, i feel i am on my way to being fully dominant... i am surprising myself with this behavior; it is something he brought out of me. but i also think my present lack of complete confidence is stemming from the fact that he has had submissive fantasies for a good ten to fifteen years (he is ten years older than i am) and that i have only been thinking dominantly for a few weeks. he has only had one other mistress in the past and has told me that we are already further into it than he was with her. the final issue is that he does not enjoy s/m, but i like to see him squirm. i will scratch him (enough to leave a mark but not draw blood) and that is already uncomfortable for him. i also want a little knife play but have not yet broached the subject as i know it will be too much for him. i also want to tie him up and leave him in the next room for awhile. the problem is that he is very squeamish all the time and i feel i should respect his boundaries as we are still at a relatively early point in our relationship. Thoughts on any of the above???