New Master

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by MrSir, May 23, 2013.

  1. MrSir

    MrSir New Member

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    I found out, not too long ago, that my girlfriend shares the same fetish as I do. She wants me to be her master and I want her to be my slave. We won't be doing it 24/7, only a couple times a week. I understand the hows and whats of being a Dom, I just don't understand how I'm supposed to go about it without seeming too "abusive". Obviously I'm new to this. We already went over her soft and hard limits and I came up with rules that she must follow. Just not sure what to do after that.

    Thank You
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  2. sweetling91

    sweetling91 Member

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    First of all welcome in this forum.
    Now to your question. I think there are some first scene scenarios in this forums newcomers FAQ (page 4) if you haven't read it then you should. There are many tips and tricks in there for both you and your sub and you could come across some new interesting facts. You could also search for tips on the first scene in here but I don't know how effective it will be. I remember reading lots about it but unfortunately I can't recall them and I'm also quite new and a subbie. Anyway, you can always ask again.
    I know I'm not helping much but I hope I could help you just a little bit and I wish you good luck on your road together.
    Last edited: May 23, 2013
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  3. darknova42

    darknova42 Member

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    Well, I think you should talk with your sub about this if you haven't already. Make sure you're both on the same page. Get her/him to open up about why she/he wants to submit in a 24/7 situation. What are her/his expectations? What are her/his motivations?

    I think setting up a set of rules, regulations and procedures as well as a schedule will help.

    The schedule first and foremost so your sub knows what to do during the day. When to wake up, when and what to have for breakfast, lunch etc. If there are chores or other housework or exercise to keep your sub fit and healthy have time set aside for that.
    The schedule is important especially if you have to leave your sub alone for a given time. Even when you're away they'll still know what to do.

    In addition to a schedule, procedures are important. Instruct your sub before hand on what is supposed to be done in a given situation. For instance, if your sitting down watching tv, where is your sub supposed to be sitting and how? If you ask for a drink, is there a specific way you want it presented? etc.

    As for rules and regulations there should be a dress code. Is your sub going to be naked? If they're wearing clothes what undergarments are they allowed to wear and when? Shoes or barefoot? If your sub breaks any rules or doesn't do something the right way, instruct them on the proper preferred method, and then give them the predetermined punishment for that transgression. You can have a general punishment, such as spanking or maybe even pushups.

    In addition to all this make sure your sub understands that at any given moment, should the urge strike you, they are to be open to your use. That you could be watching tv and suddenly order them to pleasure you orally, that they could be walking down the hall with a load of laundry and you could come up behind them and take them against the wall, or bend them over the back of the sofa. You'll do what you please and what pleases you. The only thing that will stop you is the safeword.

    A 24/7 relationship even for a couple of days requires a lot of trust. As a dom you're responsible for they're safety and well being. In general slaves want to feel cherished and protected by their masters, like well loved pet. Some slaves more than others get off on their masters taking their pleasure from their bodies.
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  4. New Member

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    It depends on what your both comfortable with. Most new people to the scene will think there is a etique to the scenes and roles. There really isn't. You can do as nove suggested, which is cool for a lot of M/s couples, but honestly you can play it how you want. Its your relationship, right? If you want her to do certain things, name them and be firm but not harsh. Some Doms get confused on the difference between being Dom and a dick. Big difference. You want to be kind, respectful, and thoughtful, but don't hesitate to discipline. It is much like a loved pet. You said you have sat down with her and discussed her soft and hard limits. You should talk about what you will expect out of her, whether it be house work, sexual, dress code, and/or diet, let her know before hand what might be in store for her. Tip though don't tell her EVerything. Let somethings be a surprise. One thing I love to do with my sub is mind fuck her. I will stop midway through sex, tell her ok go get dressed. Obeying she goes and puts on her panties, I walk up behind her and grab her asking why she is getting dressed. And then she is disciplined and forced to the brink of orgasm with penetration and the hitachi on her clit, then I repeat the process. I do this 5 or 6 times until I finally allow her to release. It give her earth shattering orgasms and It makes her feel like she just cant do anything correctly even though I told her to do it, it really fucks with her mind and she loves it.
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  5. RopeRanger

    RopeRanger Member

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    MrSir, take time to read through the beginners FAQ. There is lots of good info there. Communication is key. However, as I read the question, it's about mindset. Growing p in the south I was raised to behave as a gentleman and to protect and respect ladies. I've found that a beginning ritual helps put me in the right mindset and frees me from that socialally accepted baggage. It can be boot worship, stripping, dressing you whatever... Use your imagination. It's like spinning the ball and dribbling 3 times before a free throw. It needs to be the same every time.

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