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subarama30 · Jun 7, 2012

Oh yeah the confidence thing is a big thing for men. It's like you are saying to them that they are not enough for you in bed. My guy actually said that to me first, he asked if I had been pretending all these years to enjoy sex and seriously doubted his own abilities. Reassure him constantly that you enjoy vanilla sex too but that this is just an added extra and a part of you.

sebastian · Jun 7, 2012

Remember that dominance is all about confidence. If I have no confidence that the sub will accept what I want to do, I can't be dominant. That's still true for me today, and it was double that starting out. Again, read through that section of the Newcomer's FAQ on kinkifying your guy. I talk about the importance of confidence.

Moonlight · Jun 8, 2012

thinmint7 said:
OMG I love that idea but I am all by myself and still blushing at the thought of saying them aloud. I tend to get really nervous and laugh a lot it is horrible and yah. If I could take your idea of a talk fantasy and maybe have a far away text convo i would feel comfortable but jeez I'm a spazz! ahhhh!!!!!

LOL that is exaclty how I am. I embarrass so easy, even with my husband who I have been married to forever. He loves seeing how red he can make my face. OMG we had his best friend and his wife over. His best friend said hey dear to his wife I was really distracted trying to get a cake frosted and said yes honey right back. Instantly I realized what I did and was so red. Ya they had fun with that all night long. His friend was trying to get me to turn around and I kept saying NO. My husband was laughing saying that's ok you can see the glow reflecting off the wall. then would be like oh but your his honey tonight remember. gah. ya I get exactly what you mean.

thinmint7 · Jun 8, 2012

Haha OMG Moonlight, that would have been so embarrassing! Well, at least it is something you can have a blast with now!! Yup it never really goes away hehe.

Moonlight · Jun 8, 2012

Yeah, we do have a lot of fun and no it will never go away. They will both get a lot of mileage out of that, but it's all in fun so once the redness in my face is gone I am fine.

I occasionally get him really good and it leaves him speechless. He says I am so quiet that when I zing anyone it is surprising. He gets me back though usually 10 times worse but I always said the secret to a happy marriage is being able to take it with a smile.

Sigh the last we were goofing off I almost got him perfectly. It would have been perfect if my escape plan was better thought out. I had been weeding the garden and he told me I looked hot. Silly me said yes I am. Next thing I know he poured the last bit of his water on my head. Later he had a full 64 oz plastic cup of ice water and had just tipped it for a drink when I hit the cup making him wear it. I stood there too long laughing and sadly only made it 3 steps before I was caught.

thinmint7 · Jun 8, 2012

Ahhhh yes!!!! That is the best thing ever! I love that you both play together and that was so awesome!! OMG I am trying to imagine his face right before it all connected- hehe.

Moonlight · Jun 8, 2012

He has this look he gets on his face. It is an oh you are gonna get it now evil sort of smile. It makes me grin right back at him but of course I can be onry as hell sometimes

I shoulda just took off out the back door to get back to weeding but it was so funny seeing his ice water dripping down his shirt I was too busy laughing.

I think we goof off a lot more now in the last few years then we have at any other time. We are very relaxed around each other. Seriously though I think he knows me better then I know myself and I know all his quirks, likes and dislikes so we get along very well.

thinmint7 · Jun 8, 2012

You remind me of my friend and her late husband. They were always getting on each other in the best ways!! They knew each other since middle school so they just seemed connected somehow.

Ah well hindsight and all that right

Maybe next time you will remember better lol. Yes, the smile, I feel that is what keeps us from running, it is such a nice smile

....

Moonlight · Jun 8, 2012

He made a post on facebook once that said I wonder what people are thinking when I smile. Everyone who really knows him posted.. Start running it is never good when ___ is smiling.

thinmint7 · Jun 9, 2012

Haha! That is so awesome! Kinda the opposite of what it should be hehehe

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