new here few questions

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by josh1981, Jul 16, 2013.

  1. josh1981

    josh1981 New Member

    New member here from georgia. Met my sub 5 months,ago. We are in a great relationship thats not all about bdsm I really like that. I really care about her and really care about her safety.

    I have,tied her to a,chair with rope bed with rope blindfold simple,restraints and simple hoods.gag balls too.

    I am going to take it up a notch or two. Tie her to chair with rope handcuffs leg cuffs gag ball blindfold hood hook plastic chain to hood and hook to back of chair with master lock. Put blindfold on her then gag ball then hood.

    Where should I tie the rope on her legs and arms (shd will be,wearing leg cuffs and handcuffs too) that wont cut off circulation. And keep her comfy. How tight should I tie hood to chair again comfy and,safe (wearing gag ball and blindfold too).

    I will be close by to keep an eye on her.

    Thanks for the,help.
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    It's not so much where to tie as how to tie. You can either use a leather or velcro cuff (which can't tighten) or use a rope tie designed to prevent tightening after its tied. It's hard to explain how to 'lock' a knot so it won't tighten (basically, after tying the knot, run each tail under the knot in opposite directions--that way when you tie the tail to a frame or whatever, it can't tighten the knot), so my advice is to buy Jay Wiseman's Erotic Bondage Handbook. It has a ton of great info about bondage, including multiple ways to prevent tightening. The illustrations will help you understand what to do. Honestly, if you're going to do bondage, you absolutely need to get this book.

    After you tie, check to make sure you can slide two fingers under the rope; if not, loosen it. Then check every tied body part a minimum of every ten minutes; if the body part is starting to cool down or lose its color, you need to untie it. Tell your sub to speak up if a body part feels like it's failing asleep, cramping, or otherwise having trouble.
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2013
  3. EG1984

    EG1984 New Member

    Just to add a bit to what sebastian said; you should try not to tie the joints (wrists, ankles etc..) but rather on more fleshy parts, especially if you are using rope (i'd recommend the velcro, does the job great and doesn't chafe, cut or tighten), also, pay attention not only to whitening of limbs but also to darkening and swelling - sometimes you tie hard enough to close the veins but not the arteries since they have higher pressure flow inside them, so blood is pumping into the limb but doesn't go out, it's equally dangerous.
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    EG1984: I have to disagree on one point. While one has to be careful about joints (esp. knees and elbows--don't directly tie them, run the rope just above or below those joints), you can tie off wrists and ankles. That's actually standard. Spread-eagling requires it, and a lot of ties involve crossing the wrists or ankles and tying them together. However, you do have to be very careful not to tie them too tightly--the two finger rule is important here. And there are a couple of very good ties that run over the shoulders.
  5. EG1984

    EG1984 New Member

    Yeah that's what i meant, sorry if it wasn't clear - you can definitely tie at the joints, just needs to be extra cautious since you are compressing vessels and nerves between the rope/tape/whatever and bone, which closes them harder than if you do it with soft tissue.
    But yes, of course it's possible to tie at the joints.
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    You're right about compressing nerves. A few years ago, my bondage mentor tied my wrists. While he was normally very careful, somehow this time he must have pressed a nerve that ran to my thumb, because when he untied me, my back of my thumb had gone number, and it remained numb for about two weeks. I was really worried that he might have done permanent damage, but fortunately it finally woke up again.
  7. josh1981

    josh1981 New Member

    It worked good. No problems.

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