Evening. I have been married to my wife for nine years. In those nine years, we have been remotely happy. We have three children together, the oldest 8 and youngest 3 months. Our lives have been missing something for the past eight years. First, a little about the beginning... When my wife and I first met, we were nymphos. Most new couples are, once they do the deed. We were no exception. We even went so far as to go to some very closes friend's of mine and do a "swap" with them. Twice. She loved it, and since we had our first child, we have not been able to do that or any of the other random sexually deviate acts. Well, we could have, but she was not willing to try.. too Tired. Well, now we can fast forward to about two months ago. At that point I became close friends with this girl who admitted she had used to be a sub. Well, at first i just chuckled. That lifestyle just wasn't my thing. Too non-vanilla. But we discussed it further and she became more and more informative and then directed me to the internet. I did a little reading, and nowhere near as much as I will be now, and began to find myself turned on by a few things. I still don't care so much for pain, either inflicting or receiving. A little light is okay, though. Anyway, I decided to go for it and try some experimentation, after hinting around with my wife for a bit to see if she was interested, of course. So here's what I did... She comes home from work last mondya to a note telling her not to ask any questions and just do what she's told. On it is a very small shopping list containing Popsicles, Shaving Cream, a Razor and six small candles. I of course explain to her that if she does what she's told she will be rewarded with the best sex of her life and if she does not, she will be punished. Works like a charm and she returns later that night with her groceries. Still thinking that I was aiming too high I gave her a second note explaining a few more rules. For the rest of the night she was not allowed to speak unless answering my question directly, she was not allowed to piss and she was to be ready to start by 9. There were a few more small demands and a safeword included "just in case". At 8:55 she approached me with a sullen look on her face. She had not been permitted to speak for almost two hours by now and she is a VERY talkative woman. Since she had followed the rules thus far and was ready early, I rewarded her with an early start to our evening. Once in the shower, the fun began. As she dropped to her knees, she was required to shave my balls and asshole, but not allowed to touch them sexually at all. After a prompt shave she was required to rub her face all over my cock and balls and taint to check for any missed hair. I was getting more excited by the second, but not sexually. It was all together different. Deeper. Deeper than anything I had experienced before. After this, I shaved her as well, as a reward and to show her that the pleasure is in serving, for me anyway. It was now that I demanded she piss for me. She was unfortunately unable to and was quickly punished. She was told to get on her knees and gag herself. Now, my wife does not deepthroat. Her blowjobs are as vanilla as vanilla can get. Obediently she dropped to her knees and took my man meat into her mouth and began attempting to deepthroat. After several unsatisfactory attempts and a little gagging and coughing, she had dramatically improved. As you can imagine things progressed from the shower with her being told to go in the bedroom and wait for me on her knees, and stare at the floor. After making her wait a couple minutes, I entered to light the candles and tied her up, hands only. As I began to tease her with numerous things including baby oil and a plastic spoon, I found she seemed to really be digging being told what to do. After nearly thirty minutes of foreplay, which is usually non existent (her choice, not mine), I decided to step it up a notch. Hot candle wax on her ass and back. Holy Fuck!!! I haven't seen my wife get so turned on in almost forever. I touched her pussy for the first time, shaving not included, after the wax. It was absolutely drenched. Wetter than I had ever seen it before without the use of my tongue. Throughout the whole time I had been explaining to my wife that I was only doing what I was doing because I love her. The strange thing is, I meant it. If I didn't love her, I would just cheat on her again, like I had in the past (and yes, she is aware), but I didn't want that anymore. I love her and want OUR lives to be better, not MY life. Drenched vagi there for my taking, I switched up and made her drop to my crotch, her head well below mine looking up, which is something I had never been able to get her to do before. Look me in the eyes while fellating. Through much encouragement from me, and a few light whippings, she gave me the best blowjob she had ever given me. For the first time, even though I had asked numerous times before, she licked my asshole. This has been a fantasy of mine for a long time as has the pissing deal, which she REALLY wanted to to but couldn't. Well, I guess being told to do it made it less "dirty" in her mind. The rest of the night went along great and culminated in her doing a little "cumplay" which is yet another thing she would never do before. the rest is for the story board. So that was our first foray into bdsm. I am planning another lesson Monday and am trying to come up with homework. I want to do something slightly humiliating, but not entirely. Just something I can do to prove my dominance. Below is my basic plan for the next night. She is to stop pissing much earlier in the day. She is also receiving a much bigger and stranger shopping list. Some truly mundane stuff in there; A red lighter, a three subject notebook, a green keyring and 4 bolts of different lengths to name a few. She is also to wake me up Sunday morning by masturbating next to my face almost to the point of cumming. Almost. She is then to give me a blowjob the same way, until right before ejac and then well go about our day. Monday she must wear a dress and no underwear to work as well as videotape herself masturbating on her lunch break, once again not to orgasm. Monday night is her next lesson. So, how's it sound so far and a couple questions. Bearing in mind that I want her to truly experience the love part of the D/s relationship, what are some other lessons to try? As I said, Pain is really not my thing, humiliation isn't so bad. i saw elsewhere to collar and leash her, and that turns me on a bit, so I will use that, I also saw Time Outs and that's a good one, but what are some other punishments. Spankings, obviously, orgasm denial although I really really don't want to deny her ( or me ) her orgasm. What are some other things to teach her to obey? Having kids cuts our choices a lot as things are much more difficult to hide. Any opinions, ideas would be great. thanks in advance.