New cummers, nice site!

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by J&B33, Oct 6, 2010.

  1. J&B33

    J&B33 New Member

    Hi were new to this site married cpl, wife likes to be very dom, and has got me into this hole lifestyle, we found this site which looks to be a very good one.

    our question is she has always wanted to do this just never got the chance now i want to also, so how dose one go about meeting a sub, or finding one, we know there is clubs for this. dose anyone have other ideas besides clubs to meet people. any advice would be greatly APP. thanks john
     
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    So if I understand you, your wife wants to bring a second sub into the relationship. You're ok with this. You want advice on how to find a sub for her?

    If I have this right, a club or munch is a good place to start. Get to know your local community and ask around for suggestions about someone good to play with. Let it be known that you are looking for a sub and see if one approaches you. Typically there are more sub's than doms, so if you appear to be competent and safe, sub's may well approach you.

    You can also post an ad on this site, or Alt.com or perhaps Recon or Manhunt if you're looking for a bi man. Your local women's sex store might have a bulletin board you could advertise on, or the staff might put you in touch with one. But I would start with your munch.
     
  3. J&B33

    J&B33 New Member

    thanks for the responce Sebastian, i have red some of your other posts/replys so far on other topics, must say u are a world of knowledge on these topics. thanks for the advice, and we will try to keep moving forward.
     
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  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Thank you for the kind words. I'm hardly an expert, just someone with a fair dose of common sense who's done a good deal of reading. I'm sure others on the site can offer good insight on how straight couples hook up.
     
  5. J&B33

    J&B33 New Member

    well to be honest were looking for both male and female dosent have to be a hole stright thing, were adults and know our limits and boundaries so we figured why not experence both sexes. but in return your right it seem like common sence and alot of pratice. and with reading post and replys here we hope to gain the knowledge that can take us further in this venture. thanks again
     
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  6. fdxjettech

    fdxjettech New Member

    Hey J & B. I know what you mean. My wife has asked me to be her dom. We are about 7 weeks into turning it into a 24/7. So are you both going to be Dom? If not, Why wouldn't you be her sub? We have found a private club here in Memphis, we are gonna go in the next couple of weeks we found it by googleing "bdsm clubs, Memphis" . I'lll bet you can do the same for Philly.

    Sebastian seems to know his stuff. I try to give extra thought to his responces. Keep in touch, we'll trade stories

    Jeff
     
  7. J&B33

    J&B33 New Member

    thanks jeff for the responce and yes your right so far from what i have red here sebastain, dose know his stuff. never thought about google for that i give that a shot now. as for us yes she has practiced on me all ready;)
     
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  8. Lykos

    Lykos Member

    Your lucky to be in philly, I'm on a college campus in Nacagdoches, Texas. We don't even have a strip club within 30 miles. (Not that I'm interested) It's hard enough coming to terms with the fact that most people would find my sexual preferences wierd but if you guys know anything about East Texas religion, there are some bat-shit crazy Christian zealots here. I'm Christian personally but the people out here aren't exactly open to kinkyness of any kind. Not to mention that my wife-to-be (also a closely gaurded secret) is 400 miles away and the only person I know who accepts me.

    Sorry didn't mean to steal your thread.
     
  9. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Lykos, gays and kinky people encounter these sorts of thing quite often, and in some ways it's harder being kinky than gay (after all, being gay is no longer a crime, but a lot of d/s play still is, and when was the last time you saw a positive depiction of a Dom or a sub on tv?). So I certainly empathize. This is why gays and kinky people tend to like large cities--strength in numbers.
     
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  10. Lykos

    Lykos Member

    Yeah but my options were limited, I'm pusuing a degree in Forest Wildlife Management and my future homes will most likely be in rural areas, guess I'll have to get used to being alone for a while. My fiance is only 17 to top it off so I refuse do do certain things with her until she is old enough, it's not for the law aspect, I just personally think she needs to be a bit older and spend a bit more time with me before I let her really be my Dom.

    Again, sorry for stealing the thread, should I take this discussion elsewhere?
     
  11. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    This is prudent for legal reasons, actually. As I said, a lot of the things that doms do to sub qualify legally as assault, even if the sub consents to it. So until she's a legal adult, there are all sorts of ways this could get messy for you.
     
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  12. Lykos

    Lykos Member

    Yes I know the legal ramificatios off such things, half my family are cops and the other half are lawyers, and I get to be the kinky wildlife biologist. YAY! :p
    She's also newer than I am in bdsm and I don't want her to rush into something and have guilt later over "hurting me"
     
  13. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Hey, studying kinky wildlife sounds like fun!
     
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  14. Lykos

    Lykos Member

    Yeah, got to watch wolves get it on for two hours for a grade. ;)

    Totally worth living in the backwoods of texas.
     
  15. J&B33

    J&B33 New Member

    trust me ther is no post steeling her i am not that type of person i dont mind the interaction even if it was off the topic, actually like reading more than i wrote, and seing a twist on it like you were saying about strip clubs etc. so on worries Lykos, also ur getting to speak from one of the best on the site from what i have red from him so far! Sebastian

    also good luck on your studies it dose sould like a good job to get into now a days, i am into that kind of stuff also just never did any real studding on it, get some good pics of the wolves like to see that! not that i am into aminals like that being that this is a bdsm fourm i just think it would be cool to see pictures taken up coles other than a tv show!
     
    Last edited: Oct 7, 2010

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