New and married and exploring looking for a mentor

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Anna2, Jan 15, 2012.

  1. Anna2

    Anna2 Member

    Hi everyone, my husband and I are new to these types of activites but are interested in power exchange, D/s, and humiliation. What are some good things we could read (maybe like an online journal about someone elses power exchange relationship)? Or books with ideas for activities?
    I've read the story of O but didnt see any love there- NOT the kind of power exchange we want to try for. Any books depicting a loving relationship?
    Someone who is willing to be a mentor to us in any way would be welcome.
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    The Newcomer's FAQ has an entry about books to order. There are quite a few. And the Newcomer's FAQ has a lot of basic info you should think about, so read through it.

    Porn is a very poor model for a BDSM relationship. Porn only shows the harsh outer-layer side of bdsm, rather than the emotional inner-layer side. Porn also tends to leave out things like safety precautions and often depicts activities that are dangerous or in some cases physically impossible.
  3. Anna2

    Anna2 Member

    Thanks for the reply. I enjoyed a lot of your comments in the newbie thread such as the ones about converting a vanilla lover and some of your tips on verbal play. I must have skimmed through the post regarding books though as I do not remember that one.
  4. sl.gh13

    sl.gh13 Member

    I'll be your mentor if you you want to or just discuss information (
  5. Sebastian is dead on with the FAQs section. I think once you get a better understanding, you can really develop some good questions and ideas. Unfortunately I do not think a mentor would benefit this early on as there are many disciplines in which you may have more preference in the way a discipline is explored relating to you and your partner.

    Read and start asking away!
  6. LilBunny

    LilBunny New Member

    I know this post is older, but have you read the Sleeping Beauty books? (Anne Rice as something Roquelare, I believe Sebastian has metioned them)They delve deeply into the love side of the master/slave dynamic, both gay and straight, sub and dom. I read them when I was 22 and felt an instant connection to Beauty that I haven't been able to realize until my current marriage. Be forewarned tho, if pony play, spanking,or orgasm denial urns you off, don't even bother picking them up. :) there is no scat or piss play that i remember in any of the three books. If you decide to give them a shot, hope you enjoy! ;)
  7. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    A.N. Roquelaire, but in many stores they are listed (and printed) as Anne Rice now. I've been meaning to get them for ages and ages.
  8. KayleeKakes

    KayleeKakes New Member

  9. LilBunny

    LilBunny New Member

    You should def pick them up. They taught me a lot about myself that I didn't know, having been raised very innocent in a lot of things. They give a lot of insight into the Inner Layer. Plus, I love to read, and these are really hot. :devil:

    Not saying you don't know all about the Inner Layer, reading back that came out bad. I meant a lot of BDSM stuff I read never touches into it. Lol
    Last edited: May 9, 2012

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