New and a couple questions

Discussion in 'Safety aspects of BDSM' started by hopefulsub, May 4, 2010.

  1. hopefulsub

    hopefulsub Member

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    My master has brought up sucking on mints before/while oral sex for both of us to intensify the pleasure. Is this ok hygenically?

    Second, this is a new D/s relationship and he is (and he's said this) hopelessly uncoordinated. I was wondering if there are certain risks regarding cuffing. In the past my arms have almost gone numb, or have hurt from certain positions he's tied me down in. It wasn't his intention either, I think he'd prefer me comfortably cuffed.

    any other tips would be helpful regarding some beginner things. thanks!
  2. subspace

    subspace Member

  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    When a dom ties someone in an 'unnatural' position, such as something that forces the hands above the head for a long time or connects ankles to wrists, the dom ought to check with the sub every 15-20 minutes to make sure the sub is doing ok. This might take the form of verbally asking the sub how s/he is doing, or physically feeling the sub's limbs. If the extremity is getting cold or starting to change colors, the dom needs to make some sort of adjustment, such as changing the position or untying the sub. This is a fairly basic requirement for a bondage dom, so make sure that he knows to be doing it.
  4. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

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    Once you're in the moment, you won't pay as much attention to what's happening to you from that perspective. That's why your Dom really needs to know. Here's a link to some of the most basic stuff that everyone needs to know.
    It covers most everything in just a few pages (it's a good START).

    Also - John Warren's "Loving Dominant" talks a lot about how to tie, abuse, and otherwise thrill your partner without harming them....... And there really is a difference between hurt and harm.

    I've got some other e-books that cover this, let me know (pm) if you want to view them.

    Stay safe.... It will take the anxiety about hospitals, embarrassing explanations to a doctor, dying, and permanent nerve damage out of your sessions/scenes and allow you to enjoy what is happening to/for you.
  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Very good link.

    S/mers should never hesitate to go to the ER if they think it's necessary. ER staff have seen EVERYTHING that can go wrong in sex, including SM play of all sorts. They are constantly removing unusual objects from various orifices. The worst you're likely to get is a lecture about what not to do the next time you play. HIPA regulations forbid them from discussing your case or even your identity with others without your consent, so a trip to the ER is unlikely to produce embarrassing gossip and if it does you have legal recourse against both the institution and those who treated you. And, in the end, a little embarrassment is better than serious injury.
  6. hopefulsub

    hopefulsub Member

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    That link looks great! thanks :) I'm excited to become his slave, but at the same time I don't want to submit if he can't handle my safety on his own.
  7. DR.HT

    DR.HT New Member

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    Good link. And as a newbie D, I'd recommend doing LOTS of research and find a mentor.(which I myself is still trying to do) I will say that of all the sites I've been to, this one rocks and seems to have decent information.
  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Small lesson on the risks of bondage. My mentor is extremely good at bondage (about 30 years of experience). A couple weeks ago, he put my wrists in institutional restraints (basically fabric straps that accept a padlock) behind my back. He laid me down on my back with a pillow under me. I was in that position for about 45 minutes.

    The next day, I realized I had some numbness in my right thumb from a pinched nerve. It wasn't bad, and feeling has slowly returned. At the moment, I have a small strip (maybe half a centimeter wide) that runs along the outside of my thumb to my wrist that is mildly numb. At this point, it may be permanent, but it might continue shrinking. It's not a serious problem really, just vaguely irritating when I notice it. But if an experienced bondage dom can do that by accident using high quality equipment, an inexperienced dom can do much worse. So be careful and read, read, read.

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