MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Alpaccino: Smallest is pretty much right. The distinction between a sub and a slave isn't a question of slaves not having limits; it's a question of how much control the dom/master has. Slaves typically seek to give up a large amount (sometimes, but by no means always, total) control over his or her life, whereas subs generally retain a good measure of control, especially outside the bedroom.
For example, my slave and I both think of him as a slave. I have owned him for a year (today's our one year anniversary, actually). We live together, but he has near complete control over his finances and career (I give him advice on career choices, but it's more about motivating him to figure out his path). He owns his car, his furniture, and so on, although they are pretty much entirely at my disposal and he is not allowed to use his own couch; when he moved in, I made the decision to sell his armchair and footrest because they didn't fit into the apartment, but he got the money from the sale. His job sometimes interferes with what I would like him to do, and I accept that restriction. I call the shots sexually, but I've agreed to accept a couple of limits (I don't play with others without him being the biggest one).
Smallest is also right that you figure out your slave's limits by talking with her. Good clear regular communication is absolutely critical to keeping a BDSM relationship functioning smoothly. My slave is not allowed to hide his feelings or thoughts from me, so whenever I ask him what he's thinking, he has to tell me. During aftercare, we generally discuss what we thought of the scene, including what he liked and what he didn't like. When I'm interested in doing something new, we typically have a conversation beforehand so I can find out what he thinks about it. He has a safe word, although he's never used it after our second meeting (and he tells me that during really intense scenes, he's not always sure he could use it, so I pay close attention and stop play when I think he might be reaching the limit of what he can handle).
In the early days of a BDSM relationship, especially if you're new to being a dom or master, you should be talking with your sub/slave regularly, at least one a weekly basis (assuming you're seeing her that often). Once you've learned her limits, her turn-ons, and what she can handle, you can dial back the frequency of those talks, but you shouldn't stop them all together. BDSM relationships are still relationships, and all relationships take communication and hard work to keep them functioning smoothly.
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