I know you guys have probably discussed something like this before, but my situation is a little different. I had a master, it ended. I'm now engaged to a different guy. I love him very much as I should The problem is he isn't in to BDSM, and in general our sex life isn't that great. We're 20 and I figured we'd be fucking like rabbits. He has anxiety a lot of the time which is hard to work through, and when we try to do a little bdsm it can get him distracted enough to crash the moment. He has a really hard time staying hard (no pun intended) and I don't know what to do. He gets so anxious about it I can sit on top of him naked and it won't do anything then he ends up getting upset (crying, the whole deal). I don't attack him for it. He's had this problem for a year and a half now, since we started. I just crave being a sub and I find myself trying to encourage him and get him to a point where he can at least have sex. Finishing is difficult for him too. I just end up being the director in it all and my mind wanders back to when I was a real sub. Other things to note: He knows about my desire to be a sub, and he doesn't have the ability to see a therapist or get meds for ED.