My master just got a girlfriend...I need advice!

RRR1609 · Apr 5, 2009

My master just got a girlfriend, and i don't really know exactly what to think or do about it. He dated this girl for a while, but then broke up with her. While they were broken up, we started our relationship, but a few days ago he told me he was going back out with her. He said he still wants to continue our D/s relationship, but he's not going to tell his girlfriend about it. The thought of not having him as my master makes me really sad, so i don't want to end our relationship, I just am at a loss on how to respond to this. So my question is, are any of you subs in this same situation? Do your masters have girlfriends (or boyfriends)? How do you deal with this? Or, does anyone just have any advice or thoughts on this in general? Any thought would be appreciated. Thanks!!!

-RRR1609

MrAero · Apr 5, 2009

well, isn't that cheating? I mean if the g/f doesn't know about it that sounds a little shady...

RRR1609 · Apr 5, 2009

MrAero said:
well, isn't that cheating? I mean if the g/f doesn't know about it that sounds a little shady...

I'm not sure. My master and I don't do sexual things in our relationship, so I don't really know if it constitutes as cheating or not.

MrAero · Apr 5, 2009

oh ok, I see. Well, I can understand where he's coming from. The Dom/sub relationship is very important and even sacred in a way. if his girlfriend wouldn't be hurt by the act and you aren't doing anything sexual, then, in my book, it wouldn't constitute informing the g/f either.

RRR1609 · Apr 5, 2009

MrAero said:
oh ok, I see. Well, I can understand where he's coming from. The Dom/sub relationship is very important and even sacred in a way. if his girlfriend wouldn't be hurt by the act and you aren't doing anything sexual, then, in my book, it wouldn't constitute informing the g/f either.

I totally understand him not telling his girlfriend, my real problem is how should i respond to him having a girlfriend in general? I feel a little bit rejected, to be completely honest. I wish I could be enough for him. What is she giving him that I'm not? Aside from being his submissive, I am also his friend, and if it's a physical relationship he wants, I'd be willing to give him that to an extent. Maybe she is willing to go further than I am sexually or something. The only other thing I can think of is, because I am his sub, he doesn't view me completely as a normal or real woman, and he just wanted to date a normal person. He wants the best of both worlds, which is totally understandable. What are your thoughts on this?

nix · Apr 5, 2009

He should tell his g/f. That's a little low...

My opinion? Tell your master. You should be communicating with him, not a bunch of people on the net!
As for practical suggestions though, maybe some sort of system where you serve both of them (if she's into that)?

MrAero · Apr 5, 2009

nix said:
He should tell his g/f. That's a little low...

My opinion? Tell your master. You should be communicating with him, not a bunch of people on the net!
As for practical suggestions though, maybe some sort of system where you serve both of them (if she's into that)?

yes I agree, you need to let him know about how you feel.

maybe he does want the best of both worlds and his current g/f just isn't into bdsm. you should ask him. or maybe it really is separate for him, since you and him aren't doing anything physical. haha I'm not sure. but don't feel rejected; if he really is your Dom, then you need to trust him that he knows what's best. but yes, first thing's first: talk to him. good luck!

RRR1609 · Apr 5, 2009

You're right, nix, i will talk to master and tell him exactly what I'm feeling. As far as serving them both...i honestly don't like the idea of that. i don't know her at all, and I really don't like her because she's taking my master from me, haha!! Also, I don't like the idea of being submissive to a woman. I totally realize that a lot of people like that, and that's fine, but that's just not something I've really ever been into. I would probably get punished a whole lot of my master expected me to be submissive to her as well, haha!! However, I will talk to him about what he thinks about that. If it is what he wants, then I may give it a try. I have no idea if she would be into it or not. All i know is what he'd told me about her, I've never talked to her.

RRR1609 · Apr 5, 2009

Also Nix, I'm afraid if he tells his girlfriend, she will be upset and make him choose between her or me....and he will choose her. That would devastate me.

Mr. Aero, you're right as well. I need to trust him. He's never led me astray before. He's the type that always puts a lot of thought into things before going through with them. I'm sure he knows what he is doing.

Sparrow69 · Apr 5, 2009

well, as a master its his right to tell whom he pleases, and as a sub its your position to accept his wishes. if its not sexual, then so be it. While personally, I'd be open an honest, as i believe thats the best option, to each their own.

My master just got a girlfriend...I need advice!

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