More yourself when...

bluelagoon1988 · Sep 22, 2009

Sometimes I feel more myself when I am being submissive and I have noticed that when other areas of my life are not where I want them or uncertain, I have an overwhelming desire to be totally dominated. Does anybody else feel like this?

Master and I were talking today and He said something about being in a blue funk, I suggested we have a rather intense session to maybe help Him feel control in at least that aspect...Does this work from the top? Do any of you Doms feel better after a session because of this? I'd also like to hear from the subs...

Obedient Little Puppy · Sep 23, 2009

I'm starting to wonder if maybe this is the only time I feel like my true self. The only time I feel like I can even try to be my true self, can feel confident enough to ask for things or take an order.

It's one of very few situations in which I can feel completely relaxed, completely trusting, be completely without fear, and be respected. Respected as a human being with thoughts, feelings, and opinions, even when I am following orders or being punished for refusing to do so.

Even when I am disobedient, the punishments of harsh words and physical pain I receive have no impact on the strength of the respect, trust, care and love my master has for me.

WaxWorker · Sep 23, 2009

well, as you know. i'm new. but i thinka sub would find interest in the Taoist Philosophy of performing the I Ching. It's an ancient chinese tradition of divination, where you consult an "oracle" by throwing coins or casting yarrow sticks. the oracle picks up on the balance of forces in your life (represented by the Yin Yang) and then gives advice based on it. i subm,it myself to the I-ching when i feel at an utter loss in my life and always with profound results.

bluelagoon1988 · Sep 24, 2009

Mmmm I agree OLP, the best way I can relate it is it feels like slipping into a warm bath. The rest of my day is a cold shower but time with Master is a delicious bubble bath.

PuppyPuppyPuppy · Sep 24, 2009

I used to be really depressed but a series of events including amazing college professors and discovering my submissive desires has helped me evolve into a fairly well adjusted, much happier version of myself.

I live to serve my Master. That may sound corny or over the top to some people out there, but for me it is a simple truth. Nothing makes me happier than to serve my Master and to see him happy (except when he spoils me for being good). I didn't know who I was or who I have the potential to become until my Master showed me the wonderful world of submission.

When there is discord in my life I act up and act out and I am punished accordingly. Before, during and after my punishment I reflect on the "why" of my actions and alter my reactions to the elements in my life that prompted my poor behavior. I tried to be self aware before I met my Master, and I was relatively successful. Now I am forced to reflect and I make startling discoveries about myself all the time. After I make these discoveries I learn from them (hopefully) and grow into what I view as a more successful, well-adjusted person and willing slave.

I don't suppose that directly answers your question... but I've been studying and sitting in lectures for twelve hours today so I'm not processing things properly at the moment.

I think what I was trying to say is that submitting makes me more in tune with myself and I crave being dominated (and even punished) because I still feel the need to grow as a person. I guess I like pushing the borders of self-discovery.

bluelagoon1988 · Sep 24, 2009

P3 that is beautiful. I only hope that I can get to that point with my Master. When I first came into this lifestyle I was convinced I was submissive but the more I learn, the more I realize I was born a slave. The only thing keeping me from it is my own silly hang up about what is "right" in a relationship. I can't wait for that to melt away so I can be myself all the time. It's a journey, I am just thankful that I don't have to wait to at least start the path anymore. I have found the path, and that is a huge leap all by itself I think. Thank you for sharing P3

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