Mistakes of submissive males when making an acquaintance with dominant females

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by trulysub, Dec 24, 2007.

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  1. trulysub

    trulysub New Member


    Many know that for most submissive males to make an aquaintance
    with dominant female can be a serious problem: to become a slave of a Mistress succeeds only a few.
    I would like to ask dominant women: what do potential slaves do wrong? Which are the slave's cardinal mistakes when attempting to approach You? At what point you usually realise that he doesn't suit You?

    Thanks in advance for your help.
  2. Jillian

    Jillian New Member

    It is My preferance, when they are making an aquintance with Me through e-mail, that they begin with "Dearest Mistress." In the email subject line the submissive man should better place "Your humble servant requests your time." to show his position. Then he can sign off with "I am yours, Mistress" or "Please use me for your pleasure, Mistress"

    A great mistake can take place when a submissive addresses his Mistress with the word "no" or "not." They should better say, "Mistress, if it pleases You may I ..." and wait for permission to proceed. Afterwards they may state the request in a positive manner.

    They should always remember and keep in mind that the Mistress is placed first above all others and from that idea start to approach Her.

    Best wishes.
  3. All Dommes are different and thus the ways of approach differ as well.

    I personally get greatly annoyed when a sub/masochist write to me in a very crawling/submissive manner. A sub should show respect and be polite - but not over the top. When I read phrases such as "your humble servant awaits your every order" or "I live only to serve you", I know that the person writing to me has one hand typing on the keyboard and one hand jerking off...and I honestly do not find that very charming!

    A sub cannot swear to live only to serve me...he hasn't even met me or talked to me before! I want to be approached as a PERSON, not a fantasy or wanking-material.

    Also, I want my sub's devotion and submission to be genuine and precious! If he submits to just about every Domme in the nearest vincinity, then there is nothing special and nothing wonderful about his submission to ME! I want to WIN his submission...I want to force him, a proud strong male, to kneel at my feet and look upon me in awe - when we have chosen eachother! NOT before.

    How do I want to be approached?

    "Dear Diable Angélique....I have read your profile and find it very interesting. Your views on this and that subject are bla bla bla bla....I am a submissive male age this and that living in bla bla bla...I have bla bla experience and would like to bbla bla bla. I would be honored if you would wish to continue this conversation...bla bla bla...mailadress"

    In my oppinion this is a very polite letter, approaching me with respect and at the same time treating me as a person and not an idol. Although I do of course prefer a little more information than "bla bla" ;)

    It will then be up to be as a person and Domme when and whether I want to establish a more Dominating tone towards this little slave or whether I'm not interested, whereafter I'll send him my thanks for a nice and polite letter as well as my best wishes in the future.

    Period...Now that wasn't hard, was it?

    / Le Diable Angélique
  4. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    I find this works well for telephone and email. If you're looking for a good bar pick-up line, I have no idea. And I also want the name and address of the bar where you're finding dominatrixes hanging-around in. because they never seem to congregate anywhere I go (I'm assuming they're 'in costume', otherwise you'll just be asking a lot of innocent bystanders some very uncomfortable questions).

    "Hello, this is (insert name here). I saw your ad in (insert where you saw the ad; Craigslist, Vault magazine, etc). I am interested in potentially doing a session on (insert day(s) you want to do your thing; 'friday' or 'saturday after 5' for example)."

    Keeping your initial call (or email) vague is normally a good idea. If the Dom(me)'s employers happen to read the email, or if a friend or family member just happens to answer the cellphone ("I'm in the bathroom, can somebody get that?!")... well, they probably don't want their children/spouse/friend/boss picking up the phone and getting "I've been extremely naughty and need to get my ass pounded. Is that something you can do Friday night?" Also elaborate fetish-infused phone calls usually get you marked-off as a 'phone-wanker/time-waster', and you don't want a bad 1st impression do you?

    Then your pre-appointment confirmation call: "Hello, this is (insert name here). I'm calling to confirm our session for (insert time)". Again, you never know who is answering the phone, or if they accidently left the speaker-phone on while taking the in-laws to church.

    Confirmation calls are also important because A: You're far less likely to be a phone-wanking time waster. B: Something may have come up ("I'm sorry, I had to come into the office for work, can we reschedule sometime after 7?"). Real life does happen, even to pro-Dom(me)s.
  5. ReallyGreen>>

    I'm sure that your approach would work very well with a proDomme or a lifestyle private Domme who seeks a partner on a specific date or a specific purpose.

    However, always remember to read the Domme's add...maybe she's seeking more than a one-night stand and more than just another ass to pound, as you put it. If I read a letter asking me if a specific date would be fine, I would send a not-very-friendly-scorching reply that I am no mailorder Domme. How about a simple conversation in the beginning?

    I can only speak for myself, but I prefer being the "hunter" when it comes to initiating conversation in a more sexual tone. Who knows....Maybe I just have a thing for seemingly innocent and shy gentlemen that I can corrupt...
  6. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    I fully understand your point of view, and my message was really intended for people who were interested in contacting a pro-domme (which outnumber lifestyle dommes about 1000:1 in this country).
  7. Move to Denmark then ;) We can never get enough of joyfully perverted people over here.
  8. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Sweet. How legal is pot over there? And I guess I'd have to learn Danish.
  9. Pot is illegal - as are all other drugs in Denmark, just as they are in the States.
  10. ReallyGreen

    ReallyGreen Member

    Yes but there are degrees of illegal. For example pot is 'illegal' but easier to buy than pornography, it has more dealers anyway.
  11. I don't do any type of drugs myself. You're asking the wrong person, I'm afraid.
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