MistressMaria86
Member
MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Hi all,
Have been pretty quiet recently, preferring to read posts as opposed to replying but I find myself in a bit of a situation and I know that you (the community) have always been kind enough to reply to my questions and so I am asking once more.
So here's the situation - I have recently got back into kinky texting with a male friend who is a sub. I am a new Dom and he helped me go a bit of a journey of discovery (not just D/s) but sex in general (indeed I lost my virginity to him - he isnt interested in a relationship with me but wanted to help and with me being Dom it allowed me to do things at my pace without fear).
Being that I had never experienced any physical intimacy and the fact that he was a nice guy, I fell for him despite him continually reminding me that he was not interested and to keep emotions out of things. I think he knew I had feelings for him but hey he was getting a little of what he wanted even though he would have preferred it with someone more experienced and who he was attracted to.
So after a while he realised that I had fallen way too far and he ended things saying that I needed to go and find a proper relationship (now that i had some sexual experience) and that he needed to find someone he could be in a relationship with - sadly it wasnt me.
I was crushed for a while but time is a great healer. A bit after new yr he replied to a message for once and I found out that he had a new f*** buddy - someone who he just slept with - and it suited them both. Although i found it hard it was either deal with it or stop speaking to him.
So recently we have 'reconnected' via the D/s texting - apparently he hasnt introduced the D/s side of things with this other girl (which really surprised me as i thought for him sex and D/s went hand in hand). Anyway having finally put aside emotions I am able to text stuff and in the last few days its been most nights.
He has also alluded to the fact - well actually come right out and said that he wishes I were over there now to tie him and gag him etc etc. Now I know that he wants the act rather than the person doing it and in a weird way I am ok with it.
The big thing is that he has recently lost a lot of weight - I saw him after his weight loss but now he has started doing weights and works out quite a bit. I have a feeling that part of my 'comfort' with him is that he was a bigger guy and having had weight problems myself I felt less judged.
So it seems like Sat night he has his place to himself and reckons I should come over. He also reckons that i should go 'shopping' as the plug and strapon that i bought last time were too small - give me a break I was brand new to it all - how did i know what he could take! lol.
In one of our conversations I hinted that I would want something in return at some point which is a very vanilla massage - I just like them. He reckoned that it was too intimate (think he is still wary that I might fall for him again) which made me think 'hang on what do I get out of this - ok I do like giving him a spanking or a cropping or whatever but not to get what I really want!
So after that long introduction a few thoughts:
* How can I get what I want without him thinking its an intimate thing to do?
* I keep trying to find something he doesnt like - something that can be done as a punishment but he reckons he likes everything - cropping, spanking, slapping etc.
* If we do have a 'session' on Sat I would like to have some sort of beginning middle and end - ie its not just me doing stuff for no reason - plus it has usually always ended with me giving hand job which i am sure isnt right for a Mistress to do?!
* He is not massively into role play and he just wouldnt do something like 'shave' if I asked him because this is just a bit of fun rather than a 'proper' D/s relationship.
* Maybe some sort of theme or some game ideas would be fab.
* I know its wrong but part of me wants him to think 'wow she has improved' and to prove that I can be dominant and really take contol - he reckons thats the only way he truly will submit - although I still have my doubts.
Anyway I have probably waffled on far too long so congrats if you are still reading.
Any advice greatfully received
Mistress Maria
Have been pretty quiet recently, preferring to read posts as opposed to replying but I find myself in a bit of a situation and I know that you (the community) have always been kind enough to reply to my questions and so I am asking once more.
So here's the situation - I have recently got back into kinky texting with a male friend who is a sub. I am a new Dom and he helped me go a bit of a journey of discovery (not just D/s) but sex in general (indeed I lost my virginity to him - he isnt interested in a relationship with me but wanted to help and with me being Dom it allowed me to do things at my pace without fear).
Being that I had never experienced any physical intimacy and the fact that he was a nice guy, I fell for him despite him continually reminding me that he was not interested and to keep emotions out of things. I think he knew I had feelings for him but hey he was getting a little of what he wanted even though he would have preferred it with someone more experienced and who he was attracted to.
So after a while he realised that I had fallen way too far and he ended things saying that I needed to go and find a proper relationship (now that i had some sexual experience) and that he needed to find someone he could be in a relationship with - sadly it wasnt me.
I was crushed for a while but time is a great healer. A bit after new yr he replied to a message for once and I found out that he had a new f*** buddy - someone who he just slept with - and it suited them both. Although i found it hard it was either deal with it or stop speaking to him.
So recently we have 'reconnected' via the D/s texting - apparently he hasnt introduced the D/s side of things with this other girl (which really surprised me as i thought for him sex and D/s went hand in hand). Anyway having finally put aside emotions I am able to text stuff and in the last few days its been most nights.
He has also alluded to the fact - well actually come right out and said that he wishes I were over there now to tie him and gag him etc etc. Now I know that he wants the act rather than the person doing it and in a weird way I am ok with it.
The big thing is that he has recently lost a lot of weight - I saw him after his weight loss but now he has started doing weights and works out quite a bit. I have a feeling that part of my 'comfort' with him is that he was a bigger guy and having had weight problems myself I felt less judged.
So it seems like Sat night he has his place to himself and reckons I should come over. He also reckons that i should go 'shopping' as the plug and strapon that i bought last time were too small - give me a break I was brand new to it all - how did i know what he could take! lol.
In one of our conversations I hinted that I would want something in return at some point which is a very vanilla massage - I just like them. He reckoned that it was too intimate (think he is still wary that I might fall for him again) which made me think 'hang on what do I get out of this - ok I do like giving him a spanking or a cropping or whatever but not to get what I really want!
So after that long introduction a few thoughts:
* How can I get what I want without him thinking its an intimate thing to do?
* I keep trying to find something he doesnt like - something that can be done as a punishment but he reckons he likes everything - cropping, spanking, slapping etc.
* If we do have a 'session' on Sat I would like to have some sort of beginning middle and end - ie its not just me doing stuff for no reason - plus it has usually always ended with me giving hand job which i am sure isnt right for a Mistress to do?!
* He is not massively into role play and he just wouldnt do something like 'shave' if I asked him because this is just a bit of fun rather than a 'proper' D/s relationship.
* Maybe some sort of theme or some game ideas would be fab.
* I know its wrong but part of me wants him to think 'wow she has improved' and to prove that I can be dominant and really take contol - he reckons thats the only way he truly will submit - although I still have my doubts.
Anyway I have probably waffled on far too long so congrats if you are still reading.
Any advice greatfully received
Mistress Maria
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