Marriage Vows?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Sub4Life, Mar 3, 2010.

  1. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

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    My Master and I have been together for about two years now (going on three) and we are pretty serious about eachother. So, the other night we were talking about the possibility of marriage. I'd obviously wait until I was out of college (I'm 21 but i want to go for a Masters/Phd) and I am kind of young at the moment.

    But anyway, we were talking about vows, and he asked me if I would be opposed to having the "i promise to obey my husband" part. I dont really know if I would want to say that. We are pretty much 24/7, and he has always taken the more aggrsive assertive role when we are together.

    But, to me, bdsm/maledom, or not, Marriage should be a partnership. I want to obey my Master always, but I dont know if I want to actually make that vow in a church, before God and in front of my entire family. It feels kind of cavemanish...(plus my mother would have a stroke if I ever said that haha)

    I mean it's a long time off, but it got me thinking.
    What do you guys think?
  2. Restrained

    Restrained New Member

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    Personally I have always had an ability to seperate sex and love. because of this i can seperate what is to me fun and what is serious. some will likely disagree but even in a normal relationship without marrige I would not want to be so controlling as to have a final say in everything my partner does nor would i expect compliance. people are different and and i wouldnt want another person to do that. In some ways it could just sound like an outdated ceramony but in other ways it could be like throwing what you do in your sex lives in everones faces. Im not religious so the god part does not factor into it but its still not something i would do however im sure there are at least a few couples on here who might. A better way might be to have a seperate collering ceremony which i have heard mentioned before
  3. smilingservent

    smilingservent New Member

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    Especially in a church- I do not see anything odd about having the typical line of "to honor and obey" in the vows. That generally follows along the lines of the vows that most churches use.

    I also think it would be less shocking for your mother if you both say that vow. I even see how it can be applicable in a BDSM situation. The dom would be vowing to honor your limits and obey the safe word.

    Most importantly- it is your day and something as small as that will most likely slip by most people, so do what you want. It will be better to look back on knowing that the symbolism behind it followed how you wanted it to. Most people don't practice or know that much about the BDSM lifestyle and arn't going to think of the line that way.

    And finally, Congratulations!!
  4. zapgr

    zapgr New Member

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    I am new here but married my sub 8 years ago and have four kids... all girls... join the site to reinvigorate and work on controlling statements that are neutral sounding... we love each other...but our sexual outlet we perfer DOM/sub roles we really want to get it going all the time in our every day talk. It is hard with four younguns to keep it going 24/7 we try... we are deeply in love and always will be. So Congrats...aint love grand!
  5. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

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    Congrats, though if you think you're too young to marry, me and master are about to sign the wedding papers within the next two weeks and I'm only 19 xD
    But yeah, if you're not comfortable saying it, then don't. Personally, I think that you could replace the word 'obey' with 'respect', it's not as deep, but it still is saying something, yanno?

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