love vs. the "life''

chibiTHETERRIBLE · Sep 12, 2010

our goal as a couple is to define the rules or times that we play, bc we also really enjoy the normal couple stuff, mutual respect and so-on. also, my pet gets annoyed and confused when he doesnt know how he should act.

sillylittlepet · Sep 12, 2010

Is it okay for your pet to let loose when you're out of the bedroom? Or do the bedroom and the "regular" life blend together?

My master and I had the two slightly blend together. For instance, there were obvious bedroom times and obvious regular times. But sometimes when I got too out of hand in regular life, and then I would get punished later or sometimes I would call him master in regular life. Just little things

You and your pet should talk about what limits you want to set for each other. But everything doesn't need to be set up with rules

a1bbwsub · Sep 21, 2010

We both Are Switches so we have a lot of who's the dom convos LOL Depends on our moods but I know I am the one with the most control but I give control to him when I am in subby mode ! Then I am a kitten and hes Daddy But the goddess comes out fairly regularly I have more experience in the life then he does and he is willing to learn and I like teaching him all about being a dom as well as taking the reins in and out of the Bed. Like at Parties I am The Mistress because he doesn't feel hes ready to Dom me in public! It is a learning thing for each couple! So we do have a romantic couple time and enjoy ourselves my advise is be your self ! OH Yeah make your rules write them and go over them often !

kajmir · Sep 21, 2010

My newbie suggestion.

I am not a submissive 24/7. The Master I choose was infact not looking for a pet but a friend, I replied to his ad. We got along so well that I basically said asked him to be my Master, he enjoys me as a friend as much as fucktoy as well, fucktoy, top 3 of drty pet names?

Anyways our deal is simple: when play names are in play, so are we. When we're just Kajmir and Billy, we are just Kajmir and Billy. When one wants to play ask if "domme" or "fucktoy" is available. When I'm just really not available, "fucktoy" is sleeping. When "Master" isn't available, he has gone out.

I think personally, you're making it more then it is and I DON'T mean that in a bitch way. But are you seriously turned on 24/7? I doubt it, so when you're not...just be YOU.

We'd frankly like to be a vanilla couple also, but we have a distance problem and while I agree age isn't a HUGE deal, our age diff is at the point where he is in college and I was looking to be married with kids about 3 years ago. The gap is just a bit too big.

L8NightQ · Sep 23, 2010

kaj - you may want to re-apply this post or a variant of it under "Mental States" for Div.
I like the "use" reference, and you're right. We're not turned on 24/7, sometimes we're just us.

chibiTHETERRIBLE · Oct 9, 2010

thanks again guys. its been awhile since either of us have been to the forum (busy busy busy ). we have had a lot of success both in and out of play since i first commented. ive found that it really just takes a lot of communication and honesty about how youre feeling at times. im fairly certain we are both pretty happy right now. i actually have recently had a lot going in my regular life, so ive been pretty stressed. i find that when im feeling nervous or stressed outside of play its very hard for me to domme properly. that is, having everything under control for the various things we are going to do throughout our playtime. i like to have my toy as blank and pliable as possible so he can focus only on me and my orders. any how, that is hard for me to accomplish when im stressed out. i made a deal with my pet to temporarily switch for a period of a few weeks. im looking forward to checking out and getting back into subspace. i love it for a form of stress relief. after i send this post, im going to be in subbbie mode, even here.

L8NightQ · Oct 11, 2010

Thanks for the update Chi -

You're not alone in feeling odd making the transition with so much shit still stuck in your head. Often, in those circumstances, it's best to just touch each other and enjoy the intimacy you share.
For some reason, that kind of relaxation makes it easy to go to wherever you guys should be.

Sometimes, under the same circumstances, I wish I could switch (but that will never happen).

bsproms · Oct 11, 2010

Me and my partner have a normal loving relationship til we get in the bedroom, and then we switch on the kink. It poses no problem, just our own naughty secret. I think a permanent dom/sub relationship is difficult to maintain. Life does not lend itself well to it. I am more dominent in life situations than my girl. But she becomes the dom in the bedroom. I think it is unrealistic to try and live the fantasy 24/7, and it will innevitably become too normal. Too much of a good thing as they say.
Good to share a fantasy with someone you love, feels sooo much better imo.

love vs. the "life''

chibiTHETERRIBLE

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sillylittlepet

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a1bbwsub

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kajmir

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L8NightQ

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chibiTHETERRIBLE

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L8NightQ

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bsproms

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