Looking for some new ideas

Discussion in 'Guest forum' started by ShawnaL, Mar 26, 2013.

  1. ShawnaL

    ShawnaL Guest

    I am in a long term relationship with my boyfriend who is very into being kinky and submissive at times. He loves verbal abuse and being spanked, tied up, blindfolded, etc. Anyway my problem is that I have run out of ideas for new scenes to do with him. Any ideas would be incredibly helpful! He is up for pretty much ANYTHING so whatever you have, I'll take it, the kinkier and naughtier the better. Thank you!
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Why not ask him for ideas? The best scenes, in my opinion, are ones that emerge organically from your and his personalities.
  3. ShawnaL

    ShawnaL Guest

    He just says he likes whatever I do but whenever I'm doing it he always acts up, laughs or jokes around and it throws me off. I got some surprises coming for him this weekend including under bed restraints and a butt plug. See if he is laughing then...
  4. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    It sounds like you need a good "hey, I don't appreciate your jokes" conversation, and then some protocols for during the scene- eg backtalk = a punishment he doesn't like. Or just a gag and a safe toy. Doubt he'll be so chatty if he hs to squeak a dog toy to be allowed to talk.
  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    It sounds like 1 of 2 things is happening here.
    1) He's being a bratty sub, trying to get you to be harsher with him.
    2) He's uncomfortable with his submissive desires (feels ashamed of them or finds them to be in conflict with his masculinity), so he's trying to alleviate his emotional discomfort with jokes.

    Regardless of why he's doing it, it's disrupting your sense of dominance. So talk to him and tell him that when he jokes, you feel less willing and able to be dominant with him. One of the best ways to undermine a dom's dominance is by treating it as not serious. I can't give commands if I don't have confidence that my slave wants to receive those commands; otherwise I feel foolish and frustrated. So without realizing it, he's undermining your ability to do what he wants you to do.

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