Long term/stable members who've read 50 shades: want to do some homework?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Smallest, Aug 18, 2012.

  1. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    So, I know a few of you have read fifty shades, and liked or hated it.

    I think it would be valuable if we had an FAQ post on the differences between 50 shades BDSM and real life BDSM. This is NOT a critique of the books, but something along the lines of:

    Things it has right, and why: (eg: I don't know, that BDSM's a thing?)
    Things it got wrong, and why (with examples): (eg: inexperienced players doing crazy shit)
    Things that could happen but are unlikely/weird/etc: (eg: something romantic or not actually generally pleasurable)
    Things that are horribly wrong: (eg: that example from the third book where he gets angry at girl for seeing friends)

    It wouldn't have to be in that format, but you know. Just a debriefing on "You read Fifty Shades, here is what you should know."

    The point being that we have one, less biased, informative post to point new members to.

    I know it's unorthodox to ask people to write a very specific FAQ post, but as much as I'd like to write it and think it could be important in the next couple months, I haven't read the books.

    So, you kids who've read it, would you mind collaborating here on some answers for a FAQ article (I can format it, or just move your posts when done, or whatever), or if one of you is particularly into doing this, just write up a post for it?

    Sorry to give homework, voluntary or not. Reply here if you want to take it over, and if a bunch of you want to, discuss! But remember that whoever NEEDS to read the post enjoyed the book, so if you didn't, try to keep the critique of the book as a whole to yourself.

    ETA-'Long term' doesn't mean you have to be Sebastian, just that you've been around here a bit and I know you. Newcomers are welcome to participate if you've read the book and are quite versed in BDSM otherwise, but generally the older/stable members are those that know what to say. If you're an exception, go for it.
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2012
  2. Nuka

    Nuka Member


    First scene involving cable ties. NO NO NO NO NO. Sorry but for a first time? Extremely unsafe and not easy to get out of in safeword.

    Sadism can be "cured".

    The scene where she safeword's out of being denied orgasm and runs off, and he does nothing for aftercare.

    The part of "I want it as hard as you can" he gets out a belt, 6 lashings later she runs. (see previous comment).

    The assumption Dom/mes have been sexually abused. You don't have to be abused to be a controlist. I know I damn well haven't!


    Contracts, punishments, rules. Though in theory correct, horribly mishandled and misrepresented by the books. Rules are set then broken with no consequence (so this for Me is a half and half).

    The equipment used. Though not much exploration or experimentation past blindfolds, cable ties, a belt and a flogger.

    Names and recognition devices, safewords. Again, horribly mishandled though in theory correct.

    Sorry if this is no help at all. I'm still asleep. There are however loads of reviews on Fetlife :p
  3. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Thanks Nuka. It's definitely a start, and maybe if there are useful reviews on Fet (not just 'it's horrible', which their should be), they can be pieced into something. Everything here is pretty opinionated so I wanted a neutral-ish reference for newbies.
  4. Nuka

    Nuka Member

    I wrote one for Amazon. You can find that on Fet.

    As a piece of fantasy Twilight fanfic it's okay. But now we have "armchair" experts in BDSM who also think they understand the dynamic and psychology behind it. It's a shame but it happens.

    I saw someone on Fet earlier. Some 40 year old guy. "Mr_Grey_" (There was something else in it but I don't remember that part). I facepalmed.
  5. Roland

    Roland Member

    There's only one Mr. Grey and James Spader played him in Secretary.
  6. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    Just bumping this.
  7. MrWolfgang

    MrWolfgang Member

    Ha. Absoulty.

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