Where to start... I have always been turned on by submission. Young, and without a name for this kink, I wound up in some pretty dangerous situations. A friend gave it a name and started bringing me into the "life style" and most of all, safety measures (safe words ect). A bad experience with strangulation made it almost impossible for me to trust enough to engage in any kind of relationship. My next Encounter was with a guy who liked to switch. He let me top from the bottom. Some of the best sex ever! But at this point I was not ready to be really dominated. This is when I met my DH. Now, after many years of marriage and sex as vanilla as Macdonalds soft serve, I am getting a bit frustrated. We have had many a conversation about this (thanks 50 shades even if you sucked). They always end the same, "no, I will not tie you down." "I can't spank you." We can't even do anal because he is afraid to hurt me. The other day I decided to dominate him. He loved it!! Me, not so much. Actually I am a little horrified. I read through the newbie FAQ and found lots of good stuff there. Plan on reading more deeply into it. I just wonder if this is kind of a hopeless situation. Will it be vanilla and battery operated orgasms forever? Enter the option of online relationships: I know this is all over the place. How do most online relationships of this nature work? If anyone in one is reading this, do you find satisfaction in it? I would like to hear from both ends, the Dom and sub. Is the dynamic the same without the physical contact? Is there a constant pressure to meet in person? Thanks and if this is in the wrong place I apologize. I don't forum often.