Is sex nothing????

daisypussy · May 11, 2010

Hi!
I am new to this all stuff. I enjoy some light spanking and stuff with my bf only and that too in private.

What I find here is that, the focus on BDSM is so much that, sex and nudity dosenot appears anything. As if getting nude and submitting to your master is prerequisite.
Similarly its a right of master to strip or fuck his slave as he wish.

I was wondering to try BDSM outside my relationship, but I wanted to try it with clothes on. I do not want to be striped naked or fuck by anybody. I just want to enjoy the bit pain and sting part of it.

Is it must to get naked for BDSM?

Ruelee · May 11, 2010

Personally, I think it's entirely up to those involved and their circumstances. For example, Master and I have a long distance relationship, and where I often have family around, I rarely get naked for her except when I'm certain I won't be caught, I rarely even show outward signs of my being her sub, which means I show it a lot more in what I say and what I do when I can show it instead.
Sex itself is up to Master to decide, whether she wants it or not, or whether she judges my asking or begging for it to be sufficiant to let me have it, even though it may only be a roleplayed out scene between us, I don't do it unless Master says I'm allowed.

So no, I don't think it's naked, but in some scenes it does help a bit. It's all really up to what the dom in the relationship decides, and the situation dictates.

Precious · May 11, 2010

There are three things you need to know before entering BDSM.

1. Communication
2. Communication
3. Communication

yes, it's that important that it needs to be said three times. Many of us enjoy the sexual benefits it brings us, we enjoy being used or naked, but like Ruelee said, being naked is not a prerequisite is that's not what you choose. I live with my family as well, while my mistress lives on the other side of the country, so I very very rarely am naked. It very rarely even reduces to sex for us since we both have jobs and are busy- it usually compromises of me asking permission to do like..everything, and the language we use with eachother.

If you want to try BDSM outside your relationship but you want to try it with clothes on, COMMUNICATE with your Dom you find. Go SLOW. And make sure you both are comfortable and understand eachothers needs. If you have limits, set the limits immediately, talk to him/her and let them know what you want, what your feeling. And most importantly after you establish this communication don't STOP communication.

Ruelee · May 11, 2010

I can definitely agree on both the going slow and knowing the limits. Rushing something is never a good idea. Even Master and I take it slow, trying new things when we're comfortable, such as yesterday was the first time she actually told me to do something, not exactly an order, but told with expectations of finding it done. Today was two things. Nothing big, nothing all that fancy, but it gives us the time we need.
Also make sure you have a safe-word or safe-gesture, one that you'll both pick up on easily, and realise the other's uncomfortable, or not feeling safe with what's going on, and when it happens, ask them, communicate, find out what the problem is, and resolve it. Never, ever harbour any ill will against your master or sub for doing it, or for what they decide; it's meant to help you both.

sillylittlepet · May 11, 2010

Well to answer your question

Getting naked and having sex, in my opinion, is like the best part of bdsm.
I love being my master's slave, and I like being used or forced to play with myself when my master commands it. Lots of people dont put any sex into their bdsm life, some people are perfectly happy receiving very regular commands and then being punished when those aren't completed. You know, like scrub the floor and it better be clean when I get home, oh it not clean well then you better lift up your skirt cuz you're going to get a good hard spanking but leave those panties on. I guess some people are into that.
I dunno why though

Now let's be honest with ourselves.
Only if you lived in a nudist colony or honestly didn't give 2 shits about what other people in "polite society" thought would you be naked all the time.

master jey · May 11, 2010

there in no need to strip or have sex if you aren't willing to do so,no one can force you against your will if you like playing dressed then do it

(if your master is good with it,if not find another one i don't know...your choice)

actually we often play dressed i don't really like being naked

Precious · May 11, 2010

Aw Master Jey. I LOVE being naked. If i had my own house i'd probably be naked all the time. I don't like other people being naked though...

Sado_Dom · May 12, 2010

Precious said:
Aw Master Jey. I LOVE being naked. If i had my own house i'd probably be naked all the time. I don't like other people being naked though...

Hypocrite

sorry I love saying that to people lol.

Sex is one of the best things about BDSM! That and everything else that comes with it, whatever you want pretty much! BDSM isn't cut and dry. There is no one way a relationship can be described. Everybody is different and so is every BDSM relationship. That is what's so amazing about it.

Precious · May 12, 2010

Sado_Dom said:
Hypocrite sorry I love saying that to people lol.

Sex is one of the best things about BDSM! That and everything else that comes with it, whatever you want pretty much! BDSM isn't cut and dry. There is no one way a relationship can be described. Everybody is different and so is every BDSM relationship. That is what's so amazing about it.

It's not being a hypocrite it's called being selective =P lol.

I agree though, you can't really read something and be like "Okay. BDSM is THIS." cause its not. its what YOU want it to be

Ruelee · May 12, 2010

maso_missive said:
Ruelee - You call your, um, girlfriend.. Master? Not Mistress?

I know, I know, confusing. I've a moral streak in me that doesn't like the connection between Mistress as in BDSM and Mistress as in having a wife and a mistress, so I prefer Master instead.
It's a personal preference, I guess, one that Master lets me have.

Is sex nothing????

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