Is sex nothing????

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by daisypussy, May 11, 2010.

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  1. daisypussy

    daisypussy New Member

    Hi!
    I am new to this all stuff. I enjoy some light spanking and stuff with my bf only and that too in private.

    What I find here is that, the focus on BDSM is so much that, sex and nudity dosenot appears anything. As if getting nude and submitting to your master is prerequisite.
    Similarly its a right of master to strip or fuck his slave as he wish.

    I was wondering to try BDSM outside my relationship, but I wanted to try it with clothes on. I do not want to be striped naked or fuck by anybody. I just want to enjoy the bit pain and sting part of it.

    Is it must to get naked for BDSM?
     
  2. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    Personally, I think it's entirely up to those involved and their circumstances. For example, Master and I have a long distance relationship, and where I often have family around, I rarely get naked for her except when I'm certain I won't be caught, I rarely even show outward signs of my being her sub, which means I show it a lot more in what I say and what I do when I can show it instead.
    Sex itself is up to Master to decide, whether she wants it or not, or whether she judges my asking or begging for it to be sufficiant to let me have it, even though it may only be a roleplayed out scene between us, I don't do it unless Master says I'm allowed.

    So no, I don't think it's naked, but in some scenes it does help a bit. It's all really up to what the dom in the relationship decides, and the situation dictates.
     
  3. Precious

    Precious Member

    There are three things you need to know before entering BDSM.

    1. Communication
    2. Communication
    3. Communication

    yes, it's that important that it needs to be said three times. Many of us enjoy the sexual benefits it brings us, we enjoy being used or naked, but like Ruelee said, being naked is not a prerequisite is that's not what you choose. I live with my family as well, while my mistress lives on the other side of the country, so I very very rarely am naked. It very rarely even reduces to sex for us since we both have jobs and are busy- it usually compromises of me asking permission to do like..everything, and the language we use with eachother.

    If you want to try BDSM outside your relationship but you want to try it with clothes on, COMMUNICATE with your Dom you find. Go SLOW. And make sure you both are comfortable and understand eachothers needs. If you have limits, set the limits immediately, talk to him/her and let them know what you want, what your feeling. And most importantly after you establish this communication don't STOP communication.
     
  4. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    I can definitely agree on both the going slow and knowing the limits. Rushing something is never a good idea. Even Master and I take it slow, trying new things when we're comfortable, such as yesterday was the first time she actually told me to do something, not exactly an order, but told with expectations of finding it done. Today was two things. Nothing big, nothing all that fancy, but it gives us the time we need.
    Also make sure you have a safe-word or safe-gesture, one that you'll both pick up on easily, and realise the other's uncomfortable, or not feeling safe with what's going on, and when it happens, ask them, communicate, find out what the problem is, and resolve it. Never, ever harbour any ill will against your master or sub for doing it, or for what they decide; it's meant to help you both.
     
  5. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    Well to answer your question

    Getting naked and having sex, in my opinion, is like the best part of bdsm.
    I love being my master's slave, and I like being used or forced to play with myself when my master commands it. Lots of people dont put any sex into their bdsm life, some people are perfectly happy receiving very regular commands and then being punished when those aren't completed. You know, like scrub the floor and it better be clean when I get home, oh it not clean well then you better lift up your skirt cuz you're going to get a good hard spanking but leave those panties on. I guess some people are into that.
    I dunno why though

    Now let's be honest with ourselves.
    Only if you lived in a nudist colony or honestly didn't give 2 shits about what other people in "polite society" thought would you be naked all the time.
     
  6. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    there in no need to strip or have sex if you aren't willing to do so,no one can force you against your will if you like playing dressed then do it

    (if your master is good with it,if not find another one i don't know...your choice)

    actually we often play dressed i don't really like being naked
     
  7. Precious

    Precious Member

    Aw Master Jey. I LOVE being naked. If i had my own house i'd probably be naked all the time. I don't like other people being naked though...
     
  8. Sado_Dom

    Sado_Dom Member

    Hypocrite :p sorry I love saying that to people lol.

    Sex is one of the best things about BDSM! That and everything else that comes with it, whatever you want pretty much! BDSM isn't cut and dry. There is no one way a relationship can be described. Everybody is different and so is every BDSM relationship. That is what's so amazing about it.
     
  9. Precious

    Precious Member


    It's not being a hypocrite it's called being selective =P lol.

    I agree though, you can't really read something and be like "Okay. BDSM is THIS." cause its not. its what YOU want it to be
     
  10. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    I know, I know, confusing. I've a moral streak in me that doesn't like the connection between Mistress as in BDSM and Mistress as in having a wife and a mistress, so I prefer Master instead.
    It's a personal preference, I guess, one that Master lets me have.
     
  11. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    To be fair though - does it really matter? I know Master is meant to be the male one, but really, it seems to me that it could work either way, it'd just be, like for me, a personal preferance.
     
  12. Well I certainly don't the sex is everything, though it is quite good. Theres always far more to a relationship than just stripping down and going at it. Take me and my pup, we do all sorts of things, mostly talking, but we share our lives with each other, our time.
    D/s relationships are built off of much more than being naked, they're based off respect and caring for your partner.
     
  13. Sado_Dom

    Sado_Dom Member

    I completely agree. I think BDSM requires even more respect and caring than a vanilla relationship. The sub/slave pretty much puts their lives in the hands of their Dom/Master
     
  14. Not at all, so long as they know he's mine, my gender doesn't matter. Besides, it can be funny to play with peoples minds. Just last night there was dominatrix is it? and she was calling my pup her slave. I wouldn't have an ounce of that nonsense and tricked her a bit before telling her off.
     
  15. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    Master's very protective of me, I think it has to do with my showing some rare traits she likes, and doesn't want to share me.
    I don't want to share with anyone either, I'm hers.
     
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