Is it normal to be scared?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by brutalbeautiful, Nov 29, 2011.

  1. brutalbeautiful

    brutalbeautiful New Member

    Okay, so!
    I wasn't sure where else to talk about this, since none of my friends and family really know about this particular quirk of mine. But I'm having an interesting reaction and am hoping for some advice.

    I just joined the website And by "just", I mean within the past ten minutes or so. I've already received three messages. (Had no idea it was such a popular place, haha.)

    Is it normal to feel both intrigued, and completely terrified? What were your experiences when you first started exploring the bdsm world?

    (I think I'm mostly seeking reassurance that I'm not completely crazy for wanting to try this - and for being intrigued by complete strangers on the internet who may possibly want to tie me up sometime in the near future.)

    Any advice? Haha.
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Yes, it's normal to be nervous and excited. You've never done this before, BDSM is a new sexual experience, and there are elements of danger involved. All three of those will make you nervous. Read through the FAQ--there's a post in there that talks about being a first-time sub and what to consider.
  3. brutalbeautiful

    brutalbeautiful New Member

    Thank you! I have read through the entire FAQ - it was very informative and I'm still dipping back in once and a while to really absorb it all. You give some great advice, and this forum as a whole has really been a lifesaver.

    I did actually meet a dom on collarme who seems like he meets my needs. He was very open to communication and safety - two of my absolute necessities.

    I am planning on meeting him Friday. I am definitely nervous, but I'm also excited. A little more nervous than excited, at the moment. I will most likely report back afterwards!

    I'd still love to hear some stories from ya'll - first time experiences or memories. Just so I know a teensy bit what I might be able to expect Friday. :)
  4. JettOnly

    JettOnly Member

    It is natural to fear ANYTHING new
    Meeting a blind date for the first time is going to be scary - so more so with this

    I dont know what you have planned yet but imo what you should be expecting for friday is a meet up in a public place for coffee or something to get a feel for what this guy is like

    So nothing to worry about except for regular nervousness
    Have fun and let us know how things go
  5. brutalbeautiful

    brutalbeautiful New Member

    The only thing we have concretely planned is coffee...but he did say he would like to try a scene Friday night if we connect well. Is that dangerous? I was going to set up a safety call with a friend of mine, in that case.

    Thank you for the advice, and I will be sure to report back after Friday!
  6. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    It's not dangerous, and if you have a safe call set up and you're willing, I'd go. Just make sure you discuss limits and so on at your coffee meet.
  7. I tell many, trust your instincts!
  8. DominusKimmik

    DominusKimmik New Member

    How did this turn out?

    Just curious. Please disregard the request if you don't feel comfortable talking about it.
  9. carradine777

    carradine777 Active Member

    Thank you for sharing that.
  10. Aibo

    Aibo Member

    Oh yes its absolutely normal to be scared. As I admitted in another thread, even as the dominant I were scared crap.... whatever the first time.

    Then fear is also part of the excitement in this, quite a number of us are also kick seekers.
    When about to be locked into a box for a while and that on her suggestion, she have that as one important fetish. The girl I got as a playpartner right now said 'I am still not scared' and that were prolly as one invitation that I should roleplay something. Saying I were going to kepp her there bound, fettered and gagged for two weeks or something.
    So fear can be useful and create better sessions - so go forth with fear now!
  11. ThePunishHer

    ThePunishHer New Member

    Smart way to spam for a website.
    (Had no idea it was such a popular place, haha.) Really?

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