Is it me

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by firesub, Jul 5, 2012.

  1. firesub

    firesub New Member


    Last edited: Jul 5, 2012
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    First the dynamics of online play are a little different than they are in person. Punishing a sub by ignoring him is a poor strategy in general, since communication is critical in bdsm, but doing that with an online sub is essentially terminating the relationship, because the communication is all there is. And unless he has a reason to be mad at you, I see no reason to think you're being punished. More likely, this dom is just not very focused on the relationship. You're taking it seriously, and he's probably seeing it as just a little casual fun that isn't going to go anywhere.

    Also, as a sub, you have a right to express your needs to your dom. No serious dom is going to tell the sub that he shouldn't ever express his needs, although some dome may restrict how and when you can express those needs. And it doesn't sound like this dom established any base rules for how to operate (again, either he's inexperienced or not serious about this). So I'd send an email and tell him, equal to equal, that you think the two of you need to talk and establish ground rules and expectations; otherwise, you'll assume he's not interested in going any further and you'll look elsewhere. Thank him for the fun time you had. Then, if he responds you talk about the issues; f he doesn't, move on.
  3. Mercyful Fate

    Mercyful Fate New Member

    people are Different :)

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