I met an experienced Dom online a year ago. The understanding between us is that we would keep things online only as we were in non-BDSM relationships at home and this was our little escape. Things went on for some time. Mostly happy, some ups and downs. During this time he also made me cut off some online friends he didn't like. We grew very close and sometimes it was more as though we were boyfriend/girlfriend but the sexual activity stopped, despite any attempts I made. Mostly we chatted as friends on email. We both admittted some time back that we had feelings for each other but we left it alone since we were both in relationships. My relationship was coming to an end (and is now). He is unhappy and still in his. All of a sudden it starts up again. He's talking dirty, I reciprocate, he pledges his desire for me and hints at putting me in a collar and tells me he wants to meet up, planning how it will all go (we dont live close). A few days later I'm given the cold shoulder. When we're online together he doesn't contact me, I have to speak first. Where we used to talk all the time he's now distant and almost cold and abrasive. If I sign into messenger he used to leap to say hello to me now he won't at all. I backed away and left him alone for a while figuring he needed some time or was dealing with issues at home. He gives no explanation. It carried on like this another week so I backed off even further. I got the hint that I wasn't welcome to contact him so often and I respected that and said that I was happy to simply remain friends if thats all he was comfortable with but that was met with a vague excuse about why he isn't talkative right now. A sub friend of mine suggested he is an abuser and is doing this so he can then take me back so I'm more under his control. I've been making some life changes and she thinks he is frustrated he isn't more in control of my choices and this is all some mind game. Is she right? I keep questioning and beating myself up for doing something wrong to lose him when things were going so well. Is she right? My thoughts were that his personal life is too much right now and he's in a state of confusion or that his feelings for me grew too strong and scared him off but my friends opinion has thrown me. I'm not sure whether to cut him off completely. I'm breaking contact for now.