Interested in becoming a Mistress....NEWBIE

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by LadyPink, May 27, 2011.

  1. LadyPink

    LadyPink New Member

    Hello everyone! I'm currently a escort provider in my hometown.(please no flaming) I have recently been interested in BDSM and wanting to provide this to clients.
    I'm pretty sure I have a general idea about BDSM. I already love roleplay.

    My question is kind of fundamental but yet I can not find it anywhere. During a scene if you are a mistress and you are punishing a slave, or giving a good flogging does the submissive get off on any stimulation(meaning from me or himself) or is he "Getting off" on the scene/roleplay? Do any BDSM session/scenes involve actual sex?(such as intercourse or oral? Is this a different type of BDSM?

    I was also taking a look at some of BDSM gear. What gear is a good base to have for being a Mistress? What are some popular BDSM fetish gear?Seems like all the fun stuff is SOOO expensive! Likewise can anyone link me to a great online vendor?

    I need all the links to BDSM information you can throw at me. I'm interested in slaves,training, S&M, Nurse Fetish,roleplay,cock and ball torture and any other BDSM type fetishes that are common.

    Thanks! :)
  2. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    First of all read everything in THIS section
    Sex is not a must do normally sessions can go without it
    For BDSM gear buy basic flogger,ball or ring gag,rope,strapon and some dominatrix outfit for yourself or simply buy a starter kit
    For fetish info you can check General BDSM discussions or General fetish discussions :)
    Feel free to ask any question after reading provided links we'll answer :)
    Have fun
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    You need to do some research into being a professional domme. My advice is to find a prodomme somewhere and have a very long conversation with her (perhaps pay her for her time). Ask if she will train you, let your watch her with clients and domme under her guidance. That will help you acquiring the knowledge and skills you require to be a safe and successful prodomme.

    To answer your first question, it depends on the sub. Subs who are masochists get off on the pain itself, and find the physical sensation arousing. Subs who are not masochists but who enjoy the control dislike the pain but are aroused by enduring it to please their mistress.

    Some prodommes have sex with clients, some don't. Some clients, and some prodommes, consider the bdsm itself a form of sex. I often find when I'm working on a boy that I don't need my cock stimulated. But having actual genital sex with a client is illegal almost everywhere; it's prostitution. So many prodommes discourage it. They don't want to be seen as prostitutes, either because they don't want to get arrested or because they think prostitution is beneath them. That's another thing to discuss with a mentor.
  4. LadyPink

    LadyPink New Member

    Thank you both of you. I'm having trouble FINDING any BDSM providers. I want to learn from someone who does this for profit and enjoys it so I can learn but where do I find a female mistress? Any help?
  5. master jey

    master jey Moderator

  6. Would setting up a session with a Prodomme be a good way to get a foot in the door to start apprenticing with someone? Or at least get pointed in a good direction?
  7. Aibo

    Aibo Member

    First off you will have to look into yourself and find a style that suit your own psychological profile. You mention punishing and flogging, but that need not be part at all. In fact if you're to be successful and get a rep so that you can generate more business I rather say that you should do things that's not as predictable.

    In real I have had the opportunity to see real life couples and often the dominatrix can be rather cute to her slave, though demanding. It is only in those videos that it appear they go for the stereotype idea of what a domina should does and what happen in a session.

    You sure do have those that are suckers for pain, but also those who just want to be cared for like one adult baby (that's one infantile kink if any but common enough that it got quite some exposure on CSI, its related to being humiliated but not necessarily the same.
    Others who go for being treated in a condensing way, one more extreme example of that are those who are into objectification, and then we have the roleplay ones, and a variety of that is the somewhat less common animal roleplay guys. We have one in our club, he just want to be treated as a dog. So there's quite less of what gear you have, more of your own acting ability in this profusion of different situations and kinks that you might encounter. I do not say you need to take on all, but rather as a primer on those things you need to think about - then go for the few that suits you best.

    And as the others here pointed out, in BDSM you often 'get off' in one psychological sense more than physical. Now if the guy wank of afterward that's his problem. :p~
  8. chaoticist

    chaoticist New Member

    Depends on the person. Personally I enjoy dominating people and don't need to fuck them or have any sexual contact at all to have fun, but when I'm subbing I don't really enjoy it unless there's a healthy sexual component.

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