Importance of a BDSM contract letter....

Discussion in 'Safety aspects of BDSM' started by Rahul, Jan 5, 2013.

LIFE TIME Keep2Share PREMIUMLIFE TIME Keep2Share PREMIUM
  1. Rahul

    Rahul New Member

    One most important aspect of the BDSM relationship is the contract or a consent form. Many of us believe that if there is a very good relationship between the two parties where both have got enough trust and faith in each others in that case there is no need of such a contract. But here we have to make ourselves a bit advanced in thinking the real need of contract and its purposes. Not necessary a consent form should be limited with a list of stuffs and safe words/sign which will be selected and freeze for the play session. It includes various other conditions where both the parties involved gets a clear vision about their relationship goal and also help them to remain in their boundaries without spoiling the relationship status in future. In doing so, you are not only creating a list of what’s to be expected, but also a list of what you will both bring to the relationship.

    What does this contract includes???

    Detailed course of action during the BDSM play session-

    One of the most interesting phase of a BDSM session is creating a contract where two parties sitting down together discussing and noting down about the upcoming training session or BDSM session, sharing each others what is going to happen in the session and what will not. It can help for both of you to create lists of what you want and what you don’t want and then to compare lists to see how much overlap there is. If you’re interested in pushing the boundaries of your slave and they are interested in the same, you will also want to create a list of ‘maybe’ activities you may try in the future. This way, you can always add something new to the mix if it seems that training going along well for both sides. Always remember making a contract should be based on both sides discussion and at any point of time nothing to be implemented as a surprise without the partner’s knowledge. Now people will point out saying that “what about the surprises part as many partners would be keen to enjoy the surprises?â€â€¦.Note for surprises and unexpected actions there is a list already been created under “maybe†lists which I have shared at the earlier part. Any surprising actions could be picked up from “maybe†lists but not those actions which is never been mentioned in the contract.

    Detailed course of action during the BDSM relationship-


    This section basically helps both the parties in strengthening their relationships. Just because you play together doesn’t necessarily mean you stay together or just with each other. Sometimes over expectations and too much demands in a relationship even spoils the bonding and finally turned to be bitter and finally separates from their relationship and this happen even in a D/s relationship as well. So here a need of contract is even more mandatory as it helps to maintain a healthy relationship. In these sections, all kind of boundaries and limitations to be mentioned. Your contract should also include a list of the rules for being with other partners. Often, a Master might have multiple partners, but only reside with one. No matter what your situation for you or for your slave, you will want to include it in the contract. This can also include the number of days the slave can expect to serve you as well as what days, if that’s necessary. In some BDSM relationship it is even found that the slave also gets the rights to serve more than one master/mistress for certain period of time. So even a clause about a slave’s will should be added in the contract where both the partners are clear about the rules and the expectations from the start, no one will be confused once you encounter any troubles along the way. So a consent form or a BDSM contract actually helps in strengthening the beautiful relationships.

    Contract with Special Guidelines and Rules-


    If there are physical considerations to keep in mind, a special guidelines section might also be implemented. This way, both parts of the relationship will be away of things they need to keep in mind as they play. You might also want to include a set of rules about grooming and about hygiene to help maintain a certain level of preparedness for a spontaneous session. Others might enjoy adding a section about holidays and special events to make sure the time is devoted to each other from the start. In certain cases, the holidays are also been mentioned on the contract. Not necessary a sub/slave has got no rights to enjoy their social life. They are free to enjoy the lists of national holidays and festivals too. But with clear specifications will help them to stay in boundaries without displeasing each others.
    It will also help if this section includes guidelines as to what might happen if the relationship should fall apart. What will be provided to the slave, what will happen to shared equipment, etc.

    Updating the Contract or making a contract revision-


    Since human beings are subject to change, the contract should be subjected to change time to time as well probably in every six months or so, It should be done again sitting together and then focus on the changes needed if any and then make the new one. If nothing needs to be changed, you can both simply re-sign it and recommit to your relationship together. If problems come up, you can also decide to make changes to the contract as needed based on mutual agreement.
    The day you are signing the contract should be treated as a very special day. It’s nothing less than our birthdays as we are all taking a new birth and giving a new birth to a beautiful relationship, after all, we are committing to take care of each other and preparing to grow in our BDSM lifestyles. This is an important moment for all of us so treat the day in such a way which remains always memorable and helps us to maintain a long term and soothing relationship.
     
LIFE TIME Keep2Share PREMIUMLIFE TIME Keep2Share PREMIUM

Share This Page