I'm not sure how to act "sexy"

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Sate_Sprie, Apr 12, 2010.

  1. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    So, after a long 9 months of feeling very fat and unattractive I've finally got my body mostly back to normal, with a few exceptions that pregnancy forced upon me. =P

    I feel good, and attractive but I don't really know how to act sexy anymore. I dressed up for master for the first time since we've had our baby and I was at a loss of what to do. I felt sexy but my mind literally went blank on what to do next. any suggestions on how to get over this mind block, or some suggestions on things you/your partner find sexy?
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  2. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    Did you find yourself sexy before the pregnancy? If the answer is yes, then just keep doing what your thing! If the answer is no, weeelll... then I guess you have some work to do

    I usually feel sexy when I wear makeup and a cute outfit! Even more so when its a more revealing, lingerie or role play type outfit. I bat my eyes, I talk a cute/seductive voice, I act coy, I place myself in positions to up the act a little bit
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    If I remember correctly, you said elsewhere that you had the baby just a couple weeks ago. It's possible that the hormones in your body still haven't returned to normal and are affecting your normal sex drive. So if you felt sexy before the pregnancy, just do that same sorts of things and your body will probably get back into the swing of things gradually.
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  4. Ceilidh

    Ceilidh Member

    I agree with Sebastian, it could be your hormones.

    I know after I had my son, my hormones were out of wack months after I had him. However if your hormones are afecting you feeling sexy, I don't know. The only thing I remember about sex and pregnancy is in the second trimester your sex drive goes into over drive;):D;)
  5. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    Hah mine was the same way. The first trimester I was about normal, the second I couldn't get enough and the third I didn't want to be touched. =P

    To be honest, I feel a little stupid because I really didn't even consider my hormones may be to blame. I had a little bit of a problem feel embarrassed when we role-played before pregnancy, it's just worse now, and I don't really feel as sexy as I remember feeling in the past. I blamed the embarrassment pre-pregnancy on the fact that I had gained a bit of weight and felt kind of bad about myself, and I blamed this on just my lack of feeling sexy. Maybe it's all in my head, and my lovely hormones at play?
  6. subspace

    subspace Member

    This is so common!! For me it had more to do with the fact that by the end of the day I was done having people touch me and just wanted to go to bed. I was always sleep deprived and while I loved nursing my son it did change how I saw myself. I would never change anything that I did but looking back I would have given myself a break. Take things easy and slow and a new normal will form, kids are a huge adjustment and no matter what they come first, that in itself is a big switch for must subbies. You are in the very early days of motherhood, enjoy it and just try to relax, the sex will come back (and better than ever!). :D
  7. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    You might be experiencing a touch of post-partum depression. Regardless, you might think about speaking to your doctor. He or she may have more specific advice on how to address this.

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