Ideas for virtual domination

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Byruk, Jun 12, 2012.

  1. Byruk

    Byruk New Member

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    I've recently struck up a little bit of a flirtation/erotic roleplay over Skype with someone I know who lives in a different country. What we talk about is great, she got me into sort of 'vanilla bondage'. I know this won't be as creative as what most of you will do on a daily basis but I want to start slow.

    She's currently at work, I told her when she gets home there's something I want her to do. I told her all she will need is a toy, and not to use any lube. I like having control over her and I have the first part already planned, I'd just like some other advice or tips on what else I can make her do.

    When she gets home I plan on telling her to take one of her toys, and to insert it in her anus. Then I'll make her get changed and wear a pair of really tight jeans/trousers. Once she's ready I'm going to make her go downstairs into the room with her family, and have her basically squirm around so it gets her worked up. Since she will be with her family I'm hoping it will excite her more, knowing what she's doing pretty much in front of them.

    I've told her she's going to do exactly what I say, when I say it, I'm just wondering what I can do next?

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    Well done, my friend! Nice start.

    I don't want to cramp your style, but I do have a couple of concerns for your plan so far.

    • No lube for the insertion of an anal toy might not work. I don't mean it'll just be uncomfortable - it really might not go in!

    • If she's going to stick something in her ass, you need to make sure it does not slip inside too far. Real butt plugs are designed with a splayed out end to stop the toy disappearing inside. Generally nature will "expel" the toy eventually, but honestly it's a mess, and she may even end up with an embarrassing visit to the hospital. So I would recommend only using toys that are designed for anal insertion.

    OK, so what else could you make her do?

    Assuming she has "squirmed" in front of her family for an hour or so it's lilely she'll be rather turned on. This means her pain threshold will be higher, and you may be able to push her limits.

    You didn't say what you already did together, but did you get her to put clothes pegs on her nipples yet? Forcing her to wear pegs while you're talking to her on Skype could be pretty interesting.

    Pegs can also be used on her labia, and if she's really game for it, on her clit.

    If her family is in the house then I assume noises will be an issue, and somebody may come into her room uninvited, so she would need to stay reasonably dressed etc. but you said she's at work, not school, so I would think she's old enough to insist on privacy in her bedroom.

    An idea for the future...does she wax any of her body hair? It's a pretty unpleasant job for a girl, but if you make it part of a domination ritual it might make it more bearable for her.

    One other idea with a "toy" that is likely to be around the house. See if she can find a rubber band - even a thin one works nicely. She should put it around her lower arm, and on your order she has to pull it back and let go. Keep telling her to pull it further back before she lets go. Try it yourself - it really stings.

    It's a very controllable and consistent way to deliver pain. The inner part of her arm is more sensitive than the outer part. Repetition will leave a temporary red mark on the skin, and if you want to be evil you can order her to go into work in a short sleeved shirt tomorrow so people can see the mark.

    Another future idea. See if she can buy a cheap coconut door mat. Make her stand in bare feet, or kneel on the mat when you are having your Skype call. Make her beg you to let her step off it. She could also buy a cheap plastic mat with a grid pattern on it - those are really painful too :)

    Good luck. Keep it safe, and have fun!

  3. Byruk

    Byruk New Member

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    Understood about the lube, before posting it I was already considering being generous and allowed her to use some to start with, my ideas was to make it feel more uncomfortable and hopefully try and heighten the pleasure, but I will bow to your expertise ^^

    I'm unsure what type of toy she has, I'll mention it in passing so she doesn't get any sort of clues as to what I want her to do. She did mention it was small so I'll just clarify it with her before I tell her to start. If I can't do this because of the size of the toy or the shape, what else could I do? I want her to feel excitement knowing she is doing something infront of people who have no clue what's happening, much like playing in public and such.

    We've never actually done something like this, it started off just describing how she'd like to be pleasured. She mentioned she liked being tied up and before that day I never really gave the whole bondage idea a thought. Our few *play sessions* consisted of us telling each other what we would do in a imaginary scenario mixed with things we were doing to ourselves in real life. I explained ways in which we would enjoy ourselves, mostly she enjoyed being used as a sex object for my own pleasure, she seemed to get a thrill out of that.

    I'll talk to her about the pegs, I don't want to push her too far too soon. I'm eager to try these things as she's the one who put the thoughts of her being controlled in my head to start with, but at the same time I'm trying to be respectful.

    She is actually a student but is currently doing placement once a week, she has told me she doesn't share a room but at the moment the wall separating her bedroom and her sisters is.. incomplete, so to speak. So what we have done has usually been when no one was at home or the early hours of the morning when everyone is sleeping.

    She does trim herself but has said she hates waxing her private area, I may bring it up if things progress well over the next few times and see what she thinks.

    I'll see about the other objects, she says she enjoys being spanked and I may try the rubber band on her breasts instead, it should work..

    She is a little shy, we've spoken on skype voice chat before but when it comes to this sort of thing she gets nervous and we resort to just text. I have done voice chat once before with another person and the difference between speaking and typing really is big... I told her it would make things easily 10 times more excitable but I don't want to push her yet.

    I was also thinking of making her take a picture of herself once she is clothed with her toy firmly in place, just a casual one before I make her upload it to the forum of the online game we met on. One of those *Post a pic!* threads, where only the two of us know what she's doing behind the scenes.

    Anyway thanks for the reply! It's been good, I'll see what I can do to make things more pleasurable for her. I think one day soon I'd also like her to dominate me, I wouldn't mind being used as a sex toy :p

    Thanks again Stanley_jeffries

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    Hi Byruk,
    Looks like you are being very sensible and understanding. Keep that up, because she will appreciate that you are not pushing her too hard.

    OK, let's deal with the toy problem because that is the most urgent.

    You said it was a "small toy". For example, it could be a small vibrator. That would be good because she will think her family can hear it vibrating inside her. Actually they might be able to - but she'll have to take that risk, won't she :)

    One idea to keep things clean, and to make it less likely that she'll lose the toy up her ass is to tell her to put the vibrator into a disposable sandwich bag.

    She must then tie a large knot in the top of the bag, or even slip something through the knot to prevent it slipping too far inside.

    The fact that the bag is disposable means she will keep her toy clean :)
  5. Byruk

    Byruk New Member

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    She recently told me that she has two toys, one is slim with curves, the other thicker with an authentic shape. I told her the thicker one would be better, I'll discuss the possibility just before we start.

    Thanks again, I'll keep the sandwich bag under advisement if there's a chance she may lose it :)
  6. Byruk

    Byruk New Member

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    Hey, I just thought I'd drop by and let you know how things went.

    She got home from work, and immediately I set her to the task. I told her to use both toys with the largest going into her anus. He didn't use much lube as she quite enjoys going in dry anyway. She had no idea what I was planning for her until I told her to put on her clothes, along with the tightest jeans she had.

    When she was ready I sent her downstairs, she spent about 15 minutes writhing on the sofa sat next to her parents watching the TV, after that I sent her to the kitchen and told her to undo her jeans, pull them down around her knees and squat, then I told her to start thrusting them in and out of her. I told her to do it so she could see her family in the reflection of the glass, so if they looked up they could see what she was doing.

    She found it scary but very enjoyable, I told her to do it loud enough and fast enough that they may hear the squelching. After a few moments of her doing it I sent her back upstairs and made her undress, I told her what positions to lie in or kneel in as I proceeded to describe to her what I would do if I was there.

    She seemed *really* into it, she wouldn't do anything without my permission and she would ask if there was something she really wanted to do, and even then I said yes but limited it. Such as she wanted to remove all of her clothes, I said she could take everything off except her underwear, just so I remained in control.

    I asked her if she'll do the same to me at some point since I like the idea of being dominated and told what to do myself, hopefully she'll agree :)

    Thanks for your help Stanley, I hope if I have any other questions or need any other tips then I can come back to you :)

    Edit/ Unfortunately.. she's just told me she's worried that she won't be able to keep the sexual stuff and the friendship separate, she's worried she will get too nervous around me and the friendship will be ruined. I'm pretty gutted as these past few days have been really great, but I think my time here may be at an end. It may have been brief, but it was fun! Thanks again
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2012

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    Hi Byruk,

    So I'm glad the initial session went well.

    I'd be interested to hear what the female members here think, but here's my 2 cents.

    Please don't feel too bad about her backing off at this stage. She just had what sounds like a very intense experience, and it also seemed like she enjoyed it.

    But it's quite natural that this would have caused her some emotional turmoil, and she probably needs to think about her own reactions to the experience.

    You are in a "remote" relationship, and so my advice to you is to give her space to get her thoughts together. If you pester her at this stage it will not do you any good.

    I would say something like:

    "Last night was really fun for me, but I can appreciate it might have been very intense for you. Nothing would make me happier than for us to carry on talking...and we can do that with or without the S&M roleplay. I'm here if you'd like to talk, but if not then it really has been a pleasure to spend this time with you. Thank you."

    You need to be patient, but believe me if she decides she wants to keep on with the relationship then I suspect she will think a lot more of you for giving her that space.

    Remember also that a sub/Dom relationship is still a relationship. You don't need to behave as a Dom all the time. Sometimes we all need a bit of understanding and consideration, and some time to get our thoughts in order.

  8. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    I'm sorry she's backing off, but since you were friends from the start, and might find a sub closer, it's not all bad. As you said, you had fun. And you don't have to leave the forum just because you're not active, it's fun to chat.

    A less happy thing that I still feel is important-
    For the future, with her or not- Please don't do things or have her [her=any sub of yours] do things where others can see. It's embarrassing for her, but it's a lot more embarrassing (and possibly disturbing or traumatic) for the other people involved than it is for her, and it's not fair to them. Her family didn't consent to this.

    The toy in her ass was fine, they didn't know. Things like that are pretty common for in public. Even them hearing it isn't that bad, because they an block it out or assume it's something else. But fucking herself with it that obviously to them is a bit much.

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